7 tips for dealing with loneliness.

1). Realise that loneliness is an illusion of the mind.

Loneliness is an illusion off the mind and confuses us into thinking that we are on our own. The thought of loneliness happens often when we believe then there is no one we can relate to or get on with. However there are billions of beings on this planet and we all connected with each other. In the end, we all want one thing. Happiness. 😊

2). We are all connected.

As mentioned above, we are all beings are connected to each other. All of life is dependant on one another. Our plants provide us with oxygen. Our parents provide us with basic knowledge, wisdom and love. Water provides us with hydration. Nature provides us with unconditional love.

3). Live in the moment.

If you are feeling lonely, it could be because you are despairing from the past or worrying about the future. In both cases, you have lost touch with the present moment. When we are in the present moment, when we are in the NOW of life, we realise that we can be happy right NOW. Learn to live in this moment. The past was what it was and the the future will be whatever it will be.

4).You do not need other people or things to make you happy.

We live in a very materialistic world and it creates an illusion the the more we have, the happier we will be. This however is a dangerous psychological trap. We start to accumulate things that we actually don't need. More to the point of this blog, some of us believe that we that we have to be popular to be happy. This is a lie that society likes to tell us and believing it leads to a lot of stress, pressure and for many of us, a lot of misery. Remember, you can be happy on your own and you do not need to depend on anyone for happiness. It is better to go on the right path on your own that go on the wrong path with everyone else.

5). Realise that there are 2 versions of the self.

I have realised recently in my own spiritual journey that there are 2 versions of the self. The inner-self and the outer-self. The inner-self is your internal world. The inner body and your honest thoughts and feelings. The outer-self is your outer body and the way your present yourself to others. Try to have a relationship with yourself and see if there is a connection between the inner-self and the outer-self.

6). Remember that you are NOT what other people think of you.

One of the causes of loneliness is believing everything that other people say to you without questioning the validity of what was said by the other person. remember that other people's opinions, comments, and statements are more of a reflection of the other person than it is about you. To put all of this in another way; don't try to please everybody.

7). Learn to love yourself.

Remember that you ARE worthy of love. There isn't a single person that is not worthy of love. Everyone has value. Everyone has something to give and gain. Practice self-love, self-appreciation, self-acceptance and self-forgiveness. Learn how to be your own best friend by understanding your inner world and how it affects your outer-self and the outer-world and inner peace will come naturally.

I will end this blog with a beautiful message from the universe. I hope these messages will be helpful and healing to all who read them. Good Luck and Thank you for reading.

Richard Davis.

My road to Chess glory: Part 2: The mystery illness.

At this point in time, I was starting to get fed up of chess and I desperately wanted to take a break from the game as I continued life in a dysfunctional state. I ended 2010 feeling weak and feeble, with headaches, colds, sleeping problems and fatigue threatening to ruin the quality of my life forever. My frustration got worse with every defeat as I was going through a phase of "Chess Blindness" were I was struggling to see certain details of a chess position. Despite all of this, I still found myself playing 5 games for my county in the 2010/11 season. I remember feeling weak in each one of them. The long trips in other people's cars and the conversations that I had no interest in just sapped my already limited energy even more.

In Early 2011, I was taken to an appointment at Queen Mary's Hospital in Roehampton for a CAT scan to see if there is anything wrong with my brain in order to try to find an answer to why I was getting frequent persistant headaches. Eventually, the doctor confirmed that I actually had a healthy brain but also diagnosed me with sinusitis. They said that it was blockage in the sinuses that was causing the headaches.

By the spring of 2011 I was seriously contemplating retirement as I was consistently and persistently suffering from ailments.

I would normally play in the Surrey Individual tournaments during the summer, but in 2011 I decided to take a break from the game as I continued to feel dysfunctional with my seemingly never-ending symptoms. This was the kind of break I waited all season for. With all of my struggles both on and off the chessboard, losing game after game, losing so many days at work, losing trust with my own body and ultimately, losing my confidence in life.

So what else to do during the summer? During the spring of 2011 I was made aware about a 6-week course called "Loving Life" by my local Buddhist centre where I had been attending meditation classes since early 2010. It was a course that was based on a meditation practice called the "Metta Bhavana" or "The development of loving kindness". The aim of the course is to explore positive emotion for ourselves and for other people. Every session was on a Tuesday night from 7 to 9:30 pm. However, I remember feeling faint after the second session and one of the ordained Buddhists who was co-leading the course giving me a glass of water to help regain my conscience. Despite this experience, it was an enjoyable course overall where we really looked into the meaning of love, compassion, self respect and inner peace.

In July 2011 I was invited to my local hospital Croydon University Hospital. (Formally Mayday Hospital) to see an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist. She tried to stick a small telescope in my nostrils. (Sounds painful and it was) I was so sensitive to the telescope that before she could see anything inside my nostrils I reacted with a violent irritation. Shaking my head and rubbing my nose at lightning speed. The doctor eventually re-diagnosed me with allergic rhinitis, better known as hay-fever. Finally my mystery illness had a name!