The black sheep doing good. (My review of 2025)

 The black sheep doing good.

My review of 2025

If there is anything that I have learnt about myself between December 2024 and now, it's the  fact that I am the black sheep of my family. In August 2024, my mother told me 6 total consecutive lies on WhatsApp that I have already made a blog about. I also unfortunately have a sister who unbeknownst to me decided to end all communications to me because she claims that all I ever do is shout at people, even thought I only ever shout in very specific situations. 2024 was a year where I was practically demonized for  emotions that were natural to me at the time, but for some reason, my family wants to make my feelings look an sound like it was some kind of deliberate circus act.

It's sad how family members can just cross you out just because of some unfortunate conflicts. However, I received hope. In January 2025, I received call in response to my request for counselling that I made to a clinician during a video call medical appointment. I was invited to receive 6 weekly counselling sessions from the start of February to mid-March of that year, where I discussed in detail all of the difficulties that I had at the time. During that time I realized that I had to accept how dysfunctional my family can be and that I had to forgive them for their dysfunctions. 

After some of the counselling sessions, I decided to visit my local gym for a brief workout. I realized for the first time in my life that a brief workout can actually be good therapy. Training your body certainly does something to temporarily get you mind of some of the negative stuff happening in your life. 

After the 6 week counselling  period ended I would look for some kind of community  where the people also felt like the black sheep of their family. Luckily for me, in August 2025,  I found 2 Facebook groups about being the black sheep of the family, where I would be able to learn about the troubling and sometimes grievous problems that other people would have with their families. This moment gave me the confirmation that I was not alone in the experience of being singled out of their own families.

However, in September 2025, I finally received what I had waited 13 months for. After mentioning all of the lies that she told me in August 2024, she understood everything and gave me an apology for the falsehood that she gave to me in those 2 audio clips on WhatsApp. 

After this moment, I announced it on my richarddavislifeblog Instagram page and all was well again between the two of us.

The last 17 months have been emotionally tough on me as I felt that my dignity was severely attacked by my own mother, making me feel both out of place in my own family and society at large. However, on New Year's day 2026, I visited my parents' house for the first time since April 2024 for a pleasant family dinner to celebrate the new year which ended with a nice private conversation about travelling abroad in the hopefully not too distant future.

Hopefully, in 2026, I gain for of a belonging to my family and to society as well as I hope to not feel like such a black sheep to the family again.

Why I am disassociating with society.

 

Why I am disassociating with society.

Before anyone leaves a comment, please understand that I want solutions to this problem. I don’t want to see any defensive comments blindly defending parents or families out of sheer emotion.  I you are not open to conversations about the dark side family life then I suggest that you do not comment on this post. If this post changes the way you perceive me as a person in a negative way, then feel free to unfriend me and unfollow me. I can always find someone else to talk to.

I have now made the decision to disassociate with society after what I have been through emotionally over the last 9 months. No one in my family are willing to have open conversation with me. Last August, my mother told 6 lies about me on 2 WhatsApp audio messages and I responded with multiple messages and even a blogpost (read here: Richard Davis Life Blog: 6 Lies my mother told me.) refuting all 6 lies, and instead of acknowledging these lies and apologizing for them, she and the rest of the family get defensive and accuses me of ‘badmouthing’ when I haven’t said anything different from what I have said originally in the WhatsApp messages.

 If parents cannot take accountability for their mistakes and wrongdoings towards their own children, then the state of our society really must be put under serious question. It’s crazy how much protection parents get for the same behaviour that children will get punished for. All the time, parents always tell their children not to lie, and yet, this is exactly what they do to their children. It’s disgusting, it’s unfair and it’s a betrayal of trust. If I cannot even trust my own mother to tell the truth, then who can I trust?

After nearly 40 years of life, I have decided that I have done my very best to fit into the society that I live in. However, If the end result of trying to socialise and fit into society is lies and exaggerations about who I am as a person, then I would rather be on my own. I no longer believe that there is a genuine reward for being around other people apart from maybe gratification and escapism.

 It is clear to me now that the unconditional love that we expect to get from our parents is practically dead. Parents always expect you to look a certain way, act a certain way and even be a certain way. They don’t even consider the fact that they maybe profound reasons for you being or becoming a certain way. Parents always demand perfection unless they are told explicitly that there is a profound reason for you being a certain way, for example, Back in April 2024, I was banned from my parents’ house the other day for having a beard, even though they know that I was going through and asthma crisis which at times made it difficult to shave, due to the risk of cutting myself. I eventually made the sacrifice of trying to shave my beard, which thankfully I did successfully, and I eventually attended her family event, but why do I even have to do this. I am still her son with or without the beard. She would love me the same way if she had unconditional love, which she clearly does not.

I also have a sister who thinks that all I ever do is shout, even though I only ever shout in very specific circumstances. It’s not like I shout every single day of anything, but this is exactly what my family wants you to believe. They what to make me look and sound like some kind of evil monster, when all I really have is an angry reaction to certain situations. This is the kind of manipulation that my family wants to give to the public, that I am somebody who shouts and shouts and shouts and just wants to tear down people emotionally. The truth is that everybody in my family shouts, but my family just wants to demonise me and single me out for the exact same actions that they have done to me and others previously.

 This is the toxic situation that I am in with my family, and I cannot see it changing any time soon. If I cannot trust my family to represent me in an honesty way, who can I really trust? I have communicated at length about this on Facebook, Instagram and my own blog page and the only responses that I get from people are the defensive ones like ‘Remember, mummy always loves you etc… etc … etc …’  The problem is that most people don’t even know what real love is. That’s because most people don’t actually study love. One of the most important elements of love is trust. If I cannot trust my family to talk about me in an honest manner, than how can I really trust anyone? This is the sad reality that I live in with my family, and therefore, I have no confidence in talking to them about emotional issues.

There are some people out there who will think that I am just a loner. Well, maybe it is all for the best. I think it is better to be on your own than with the wrong people and if that includes your own family, so be it. I don’t want to be misrepresented anymore. I know deep down in my heart that I am a good and honest person who tries his heart out in anything that I dedicate my time to. However, nobody is perfect and I know that I come with my own shortcomings and difficulties. That doesn't mean that people should exaggerate and make me look worse that what I really am. That is simply not fair.

I hope that this message encourages and apology from my family for misrepresenting me and making me look worse that I really am, because I know that I am not as bad as they  make me look and I think I deserve a lot better.

 

 

Thank you for your understanding.

Richard Davis.

6 Lies my mother told me.

 6 Lies my mother told me on 3 August 2024.

TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️:  EMOTIONAL TRAUMA.

1. No one else in our family shouts:

This is probably the easiest lie to refute. 

Every single member of my immediate family has shouted in the past. It is almost incomprehensible in practice to believe that a family can live together for decades without at least once shouting at each other. 

 2. I haven’t seen My older sister''s baby:

I've actually seen her TWICE. Once, during a  video call on a calling platform and once when she was sleeping on my sofa bed.

  3. I don't give her any thanks:

How disingenuous!

I regularly thank her when I receive items from her and even made a blog post, saying thanked her for everything that she had done for me during the pandemic.  

https://richarddavislife.blogspot.com/2022/04/thank-you-mum.html?m=1

  4. The Police told me to move out:

The police never demanded me to move home. SHE called the council and got a social worker to help me move home. The police had nothing to do with it.

5. You have never disowned me:

She disowned me in August 2018 for my Buddhist journey and for wanting to work in a Buddhist community, and even begged me to be a Muslim or a Christian. On the 13th of December 2024, my mother gave me a text saying 'stay lonely' during a rant by text over my showing of the 6 lies a calling platform. This is clearly a rejection from the family. 

 6. She don't abuse me:

This is almost as easy to refute as lie no.1.

She has both physically and verbally abused me as a child, beating me up with belts, slippers, planks of wood and even tied me up with blue string during my infancy. She has also called me 'mad' 'mental' 'abnormal' and a 'freak' during my childhood.

THAT IS CHILD ABUSE!

If you think that a mother still deserves love despite having told so many lies in one day, then I don't believe in justice. When are mothers going to have accountability for theirs words and actions towards theirs grown up children? If it was the other way round, we would have been disowned. However, it seems that mothers can now get to say and do whatever they want to their children without any consequence or repercussions. 

I can tell that my mother is lying as my mother is not able to justify these claims with any kind of significant detail. 

I cannot continue to keep loving a liar. I am absolutely heartbroken by my mother's constant slander. I cannot tolerate this anymore. 

 What 4 years of bad asthma taught me about life.

1). Health is all that matters

When you are in an ongoing health struggle like I have been, nothing matters more. Everything else feels irrelevant. All of your material ambitions are, at least momentarily, put on the side. You start to learn what it means to have a completely functional body. After all, if your body disfunctions, so does you life in general. 

2). Self embrace

One interesting thing that I had learned about illness is that you become more... well... you! You become more authentic. You don't try to hide who you are to anybody because... what's the point? You may not even be alive tomorrow, so you might as well be yourself and let yourself go with the flow. What ever will be will be. What ever works for you works, and whatever doesn't, doesn't.

3).Small things, big difference.

When you are not able to go out as often as you would like, you start to appreciate the smaller things in life, like having a cosy bed to sleep in, or eating your favourite foods, listening to your favourite music, reading your favourite books, learning a new language, or in my case, enjoying online chess. You stop worrying about the bigger things in life, because you know you cannot attain them.  You appreciate every day for what it is, whether good, bad, or indifferent.

4) Compassion

When you are suffering, you become more compassionate for others who are suffering. When you are in hospital you can see the how many people are suffering every day. Doctors and nurses from around the world dedicate their entire lives to help people recover from serious illnesses and even save lives. They do this regardless of who you are, where you are from, what you look like or sound like, or what your beliefs are. They have no biases to who they look after. All they care about is that you are feeling better than the day before, thanks to their uncompromising care and attention. I think that compassion is something that is very important in this world. Compassion is a life changing gift that can make the world so much better for so many people. 

The black sheep.

 Baa, baa, black sheep. Have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full. One for the master, And one for the dame, And one for the little boy. Who lives down the lane.

This famous children's nursery rhyme really reflects how I feel about life right now. Always having to give others wool. While I am not exactly a sheep myself, I do feel that the 'wool' that I have to give is gratification to others. In other words, I am always the one that has to please others. Others will always demand more 'wool' from you, even when it has just been shaven of.

Have you ever felt that you were a black sheep? Have you ever felt that you never belonged, no matter where you go? Do you always feel that you are the odd one out, the square peg in a round hole, or even an outcast, in your own family or even worse, in society?

Well, this is exactly how I have felt for most of my life. There has been many events in my life, both recent and historic, that have proven to me that no matter where I go in life, I am always going to be the odd one out, the one who sticks out without even trying. 

Throughout my life, whether with my family, whether in school or college, whether in certain social situations, or in the general public at large, I have always had to cope with the fact that I am looked at a little bit differently, and I do things in life that most other people don't. My interests over the years have been rather obscure, which means that I am normally the only person in most social circles that has any kind of understanding of the subject. Over the years, these subjects include chess, shogi, Buddhism, yoga, meditation, pen pal writing, language learning, and mathematics. In many cases, only a limited group of people have any interest, understanding or even knowledge of the given subject, which has made me feel isolated and lonely, meaning that is hard for me to make friends, or even have any connection with anyone.

In my family, I am the only boy 5 children, which already puts me in a difficult situation socially, as I am inevitably going to look at the world a little bit differently. What's more, I have been diagnosed with Autism since the age of 5 and eventually with Asperger Syndrome at the age of 10.The means even neurologically, I am different.

I struggled to make and maintain friends at school, because of my social awkwardness and constant misunderstanding of how socialising works. Although my social and communication skills have improved over the years, I find myself in fallouts and disagreements with other people, especially within my own family. 

Dating has been a big mystery in my life, because I wasn't told any specific dating advice from anyone, until my late 30s, by which time, I have already passed the average age of marriage. Instead, I have been previously given complacent statements by everyone that I met like 'one day I will have a girlfriend' or 'everyone was meant to have one'. Alas, I'm still waiting.

However, in the last 4 years, I have been going through my worst health spell of my lifetime, and to be honest, I am beyond the point of caring of what other people think of me as I am happy to be alive, and still be able to live an independent life. Even if my family never accepts the way I am, I know that I have done my best in my given life situation. I know that I have grown, evolved and developed as person over the years, and there are only so many types of people that I can successfully work with. If no one in my family can fit in with who I am, then that's just one of those things. I know that I have done well in certain areas of life, and I will keep on aspiring to be a better person for myself and other people.

We all need moment in our lives, when we need to focus on ourselves, and show compassion to ourselves when we are aware that we may not be a fit for other people because of the way we look, or sound, or dress, or even how we generally function as a human being. Compassion for oneself is the way to eventually show compassion to other people; only then can we give gratification to others. In other word, this is how we grow our 'wool', and let it grow, until it's 3 bags full, one for the master, one for the day, one for the little boy who lives down the lane.

Approved by Hilokal.

 

Hello Everyone.

This is a quick blog to announce that I have been approved by Hilokal to be an English teacher/trainer.

Hilokal is an app that has been made specially for language exchange, where people can practice their language skills with the real voices of native speakers. There are also many welcoming communities on the app for people with special interests.

I hope all of you can join me their soon.

Hilokal lobby for all of the tables to talk in.

Sample table of conversation 

Hilokal - Language exchange for free speaking practice

My new years resolutions for 2024

My new years resolutions for 2024

1. Eat less sugar. 

I for many years have done my best reduce my sugar intake. However, I until recently was not aware that carbohydrates like bread, pasta and rice contain a lot of sugar without even tasting sweet. 

I will do my best to avoid sugar and carbohydrates as much as possible. 

2. Exercise more. 

One thing that has been great about 2023 is the ability to frequently attend a gym, where I can do various exercises. There has been some exercises that I have really enjoyed doing including bench press, bicep curls and rowing. 

Due to my asthma crisis, opportunities to walk to different places have been pretty slim. Thankfully, I can fell my asthma improving going into the new year, and I hope by the start of spring that I be able to explore different places. 

3. Have more conversations in more languages.

For many years now, I have had a passion for learning certain languages. However, I am aware that I don't always give each language the same level of focus on each language.

I want to become conversational in more languages so that I can have more great conversations in my language exchange app.

4.Teach English. 

Since the Autumn of 2019, I have taught English to many foreign language students in face-to-face and online classes. 

One thing that I want to do this year is to teach English as often as possible. There are a couple of online jobs that I am interested in applying for and I hope to get them this year. 

I want to teach people from around the world and learn about different people from different cultures to enhance my work experience. 

Good luck with your resolutions. 

Happy New Year everyone!