I have decide to do this entry at the spur of the moment so I do apologise if I sound a bit emotional.
I received a phone call on Thursday 14th September 2017 before the clubs AGM which was taking place the same evening. I did not attend the meeting. Why? Because I was so overwhelmed and overloaded by the things I heard. This phone call lasted almost an hour. It was about an e-mail that I gave to this person who was an important member of my chess club basically saying that I did not like his verbal etiquette. I also mentioned that I did not want to play for him in the forth coming season because I've realised that I am easily overwhelmed by his behaviour. He often speaks dismissively about people and has previously said some upsetting things about how I captained the club's rapid-play teams.
Initially, this phone call was about the idea that I will be payed to play for his teams because I mentioned that I didn't like the idea of working for him without payment. Because I mentioned the word "payment" in this e-mail he thought that I actually wanted to be payed for playing in matches for his team. What I was trying to explain was that my chess was not officially paid work and yet I am having to be overwhelmed by his way of speaking and general aura.
Over the years, I have heard all sorts of people tell me things like " You have to make allowances" , " You've got to make leeway" , "Relationships have to be worked at" , "Oh, sometimes he is just like that" and "He has had a hard day/week/life".
While I do accept that all people have flaws and occasionally make mistakes, it also seems that society is creating more and more excuses for the mistakes. It is almost as if we have given up trying to improve ourselves.
I just think that there comes a time when enough is enough and I feel like this person is just wearing me out with his inability to talk in a responsible way. It is clear to me that he is not conscious speaker. Why should I continue working for a person who in the long-term only makes me and other people suffer?
I believe that my life deserves better than to be around a person who only feeds me with negative energy and makes me and others feel bad about themselves.
I do my best to work with others and most of the people that I have met in my life have been wonderful and have been of great help to me in many different ways. However, every now and then we meet a "rotten apple" who ruins our experience of life in some way.
This have been an emotional entry so I do apologise if I sounded over-the-top in certain parts, but at the same time, a bad relationship is like a fire. It will burn you inside if you don't get out of it before too long.
At the end of the day, we all deserve to be treated with respect and I just don't see the point in spending of my life working for a person who is disrespectful to others.
I wish you all well in your relationships.
