The Human Volcano
What is a human volcano?
A "human volcano" is a person who has been seen to have extreme anger issues and generally behaves in a a way that is destructive to both oneself and other people.
These people may seem irritable all the time and may easily get offended by seemingly trivial events.
Why do some people end up like this?
My Eruptions
While I don't claim to have all the answers, I can certainly talk from personal experience. Yes. I was once a human volcano. I grew up feeling a lot of pressure from my family, school teachers and fellow pupils to be a certain way. While this is normal for all of us, there were certain things that I found too much to take. For one thing, I was occasionally bullied in school and that hurt my self-esteem. However, bullying did not always end at school. There were times when I would feel bulled at home too. I was bullied mainly for my curly hair, my thoughts being spoken out loud and not having any friends.
Throughout my conscious childhood, I received many dismissive words about my way of being from my family. This left me feeling not only angry but neglected also. My anger was at it's worst when I was 16 years old. At that point in time, I had regular fallouts with my mother because of her dismissive language towards me. She would call me "mad" and "mental" on a regular basis. This was the last thing I needed when I was taking my GCSEs and preparing for college.
Why anger is only half the problem
There are many people out there who are considered to have an anger problem. However, I believe that in most cases that anger is only half the problem with "human volcanoes" There is usually a deeper underlying problem that is yet to be resolved or even talked about.
The magma in you soul
There are many things out there that make us "boil over" and provoke what I call the "magma" of the soul. When the magma get too much we start to "erupt" and the emotional "lava" comes out. There are many causes of "magma" in our soul. like trauma, anger, feelings of inferiority, emotional pain, insults, hostile environments, stress, pressure, fear and frustration which if allowed to overflow becomes emotional lava to the other person.
While it is normal to experience a lot of the above, when they have accumulated for a long time without resolution, the "magma" eventually becomes "lava" the consequences can be very damaging both the the individual and people close to the individual.
How to heal a human volcano
As we have learnt above, anger is like a fire. If it is not deal with quickly, then a catastrophe occurs. So how do we deal with anger? How do we cool the lava and flames within us?
While I do not claim to be an expert on this matter, I can certainly make positive suggestions based on my personal experiences. I think these 4 steps will be of some help to cool the flames of anger:
1). Realisation
I think the first step of any pain healing process is the realisation of the pain itself. Anger in the most extreme sense is a form of pain and we have to realise what is hurting us before it leads to something catastrophic for both you and your loved ones.
2. Find the triggers
If you look at your anger carefully, you will notice that your anger takes on a certain pattern or correlation of events. I realised in my own personal experience that it was the harsh words of other people that was the main cause of my anger. I would easily get upset or offended by what someone said to me. When I realised this I decided to give myself this mantra or affirmation that I took to my meditation practice. The mantra was "There words are not me. My words are not them". The whole point of this phrases was to detach my mind from the words that other people would say to me. It would also make me realise that I can also say harsh words to other people. When I practised this, I realised a positive difference it made to the way I absorbed other people's words. I was less impacted by them.
Knowing your triggers and finding a solution can really help you make good progress towards healing the inner wounds of anger.
3. Self Awareness and acceptance
When we are angry, we often lose presence and self awareness. When anger is intense we lose conscience of our words and actions towards other people. How can we improve our conscience and awareness of our thoughts and feelings? How can we manage them better? In my experience my cure for my eruptions was meditation. Try spending 10 minutes a day to close your eyes, breath deeply and listen to your thoughts and feeling during this time.
Important Note: Do NOT try to change your thoughts or feelings at any point during this exercise. The whole point of this is to be aware of what you are really thinking without judgement. If you are angry at his moment then just accept that feeling for what it is. Thoughts will come and thoughts will go. Accept it for what it is.
Even a simple awareness of your anger can help you deal with your anger better. If you are able to increase your awareness of your thoughts and feelings then you will have better management of them.
4. Self-Love
If you look at our world carefully, we an see that there is a lot of hate in this world. You can also see that there are many things out there that actually teach us to hate ourselves for who we are. Our society tell us to conform with others and treat us like we are all meant to be the same as each other. This is a common mis-interpretation that virtually every society has. We are all different and we should be able to embrace the qualities that makes us unique and special.
Like in the last step above yon can spend 10 minutes of meditation a day or whatever spare time you have to yourself to close your eyes or gaze lightly on a spot, focus no your breathing and quietly and slowly say in your own mind a mantra or affirmation like "I am loved" or "I am worthy of love" . We all deserve love and we all deserve to embrace our own unique experience.
Summary
I have always believed that anger is the world's most mis-understood emotion. I think this is because we only see the surface layer of anger. The "aggression" or the "attack" that is simply the release of the emotional pain. I hope I have given some insight into the reality of anger and what can be found inside an angry person.
Hopefully, one day, we can look at anger with loving kindness and cool the lava and flames of the human volcano. With practise, patience, time and love, the human volcano becomes a peaceful and serene human lake.
