My Review of 2011

My Review of 2011

By Richard Davis

I came into the year feeling under the weather on most days as I was still yet to work out what was going on in my body. Hence I spent the first 3 months of the year still suffering from this “Mystery Illness” which I had since the beginning of 2010. Rarely in that time would I go through a day without a headache, a flu symptom or a period of fatigue. It was as if my body was aging at a rate of knots. There were times when I struggled to walk and there were days when I struggled to speak. It was as if I suddenly became an elderly man. Back in August 2010 my mother suggested that I have a brain scan which I was eventually able to do. I got the results of the scan on Wednesday 30^th of March 2011. The good news: I had a healthy brain. (Must be all that chess-playing that I do) The bad news: I had a sinus problem which was originally diagnosed with Sinus Disease or Sinusitis. At last! My illness was no longer a mystery. However this wasn’t the end off the story. The doctor that I saw that day suggested that I see an Ear, Nose and Throat (ENT) specialist. On the day of my birthday (12^th April) I had an appointment with a GP from my local surgery where I would give the news about the results.

There was some small bit of joy though. On the night of the 2^nd of  February my friend Sophie asked me if we can be boyfriend and girlfriend in what was my first ever text conversation. Although we didn’t make it romantically she was still my first ever valentine.

In May I would announce by e-mail that I would take a break from competitive chess as I was still struggling with regular headaches, colds and fatigue. This meant that I would miss the annual Surrey Individual Championships for the first time in my club chess career. I also mentioned in the same e-mail to the relevant people that I would spend the summer doing social activities and catching up with friends and family. The 10^th of the month was a particularly memorable day. I invited a very special female friend to lunch at a Chinese restaurant near where I live. This friend used to help run a social group for people with Asperger Syndrome. We spent about an hour enjoying our meal and catching up with our lives. It was great to see her again. After the meal I showed her to my flat. She was the first person I invited to my new home since I moved there on the 11th October 2011. She thought it was nice. I then showed her back to the train station talking about the surrounding birds and flowers in the process. When we reached the station we had another friendly chat before her train arrived. As we departed company I had the urge to cuddle her goodbye and I did and it was returned by a lovely kiss before leaving for her train. It was the first time that I was ever kissed by a female friend and it would prove to be an omen later in the summer.

I would eventually turn up for my ENT appointment on Tuesday 7^th June 2011 and be re-diagnosed with allergic rhinitis, better known as hay fever. Later that same day I would start a meditation course based on exploring positive emotion called “Loving life” which would take place every Tuesday evening for 6 weeks in the Croydon Buddhist Centre. The course was based on a meditation called the Metta Bhavna or the Development of Loving Kindness. During the time of the course I bought myself two books from the Buddhist Centre shop. One was called Life with full attention and the other one was a book I was advised to buy called Full Catastrophe Living as it was about relieving stress, pain and illness through meditation amongst other psychological and spiritual methods. The book is based on a stress reduction clinic in the University of Massachusetts Medical Centre.

On the 7^th of July I decided that the best way to understand relationships which involves an AS person is to buy some Asperger Relationship books. One book which I remember borrowing from a library is Asperger Syndrome and long term relationships a book that theoretically explores how Asperger Syndrome affects intimate relationships. The book is written by a woman with an AS husband. So I decided to buy that book of the internet along with Asperger Syndrome: A love story a personal story about an intimate partnership between a neurotypical woman and man with AS and 22 Things a Woman Must Know If She Loves a Man with Asperger Syndrome. A book written by and Asperger woman from New York that advises neurotypical women on how to cope with issues associated with an AS male partner. Around the same time, I decided to buy the film Mozart and the Whale on DVD. This film is about a Double AS relationship between a man that is a mathematical savant and a woman with a love of painting and music. I finally got the film on the Saturday 23^rd of July and the books on Monday the 25^th.

The books and DVD film came at the most appropriate time as I would soon go to a speed dating on Wednesday the 27^th event in a Nightclub in Central London. The event was organised by Stars in the sky. It was however a difficult journey, due to fact that I didn’t have the train knowledge to get there and therefore had to take 3 buses to get within walking distance of the venue. It did not help either that I was getting poor signals of my mobile phone from the phone calls I was making to the event organiser. In fact at one point I was going the wrong direction and was very concerned at one point that I would not get to the venue on time nor would have the energy to come back home if I arrived late. Thankfully I did make the venue in time for the speed dating. I was absolutely exhausted when I arrived but I recovered in time to take part. After the speed dating session a brown haired woman in a strapless top came up to me and asked if we could continue our conversation. After the conversation where we exchanged each other’s interests a moment of magic happened! She came to my side of the wooden benched table, wrapped her arm around me and gave me a kiss! Wow! My first kiss! (About time too at the age of 25) She then told me that I haven’t been in a relationship in a long time. It was getting chilly outside so she asked for my raincoat to cover her bare shoulders. After a while, the woman running the event asked if we can have our picture taken so that we can be on the Stars in the sky website. We both agreed and the photo was taken. Before leaving we exchanged each others names and numbers. Her name was Louisa. On my way back home I decided that I would take a train route back home as I thought it would be easier and quicker especially as it was already approaching midnight. I took a tube train from Whitechapel to Liverpool Street Station. When I reached Liverpool Street Station however, I found my self lost trying to find a train that would finally take me to Norbury. When I finally got the train back to Norbury Station I received long phone calls from Louisa telling me how much she would miss me. The phone call carried on when I arrived home and did not finish until about 1.30 in the morning. I was absolutely exhausted. Throughout that week we phoned each other on a regular basis. (On one occasion it temporarily saw me out of the waiting reception in my local surgery.)  However, with her living in Wood Green transport was always going to be an issue. This caused Louisa a lot of anxiety. I did my best to relieve her over the train journeys but sadly this wasn’t enough. On the evening of the 5^th of August while enjoying an evening at my social group I called Louisa on my plans to get to Wood Green but she had given up on the relationship. She initially said that we should just be friends. All this just 9 days after we met in Central London. It got worse the previous day when I phone her. She said “Richard, I don’t want to talk to you”    in our brief phone call. When I went to my South Croydon social group on Monday the 8^th of August I asked some people how such a promising relationship can go down so quickly. A volunteer who was present that night cleverly stated that perhaps speed dating leads to speedy relationships which end quickly. During the session we heard on the radio about the riots in Croydon and we therefore had to find alternate ways to get back home. A volunteer suggested that I take a train from South Croydon Station. I finally found the station through a church graveyard. When I reached the station however there was a young anxious steward who was uncertain of which lines were running and which stations were available. There was a woman who spoke to the steward asking about how she could get to West Croydon. The steward replied “West Croydon Station’s burnt down, gone. You can’t go anywhere in West Croydon tonight. It’s an absolute war zone.” Later on that fateful evening I received phone calls from my mother about my whereabouts. Eventually I was allowed inside the station and I got a train heading to London Bridge. While I was on the train I was scared about my safety and decided to phone Louisa one last time but before I could finish a sentence she shouted “RICHARD I DON’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU. I DON’T KNOW WHY I BOTHERED WITH THIS SPEED DATING THING. I’VE HAD PEOPLE LET ME DOWN AND I DON’T WANT ANYMORE OF IT. I DON’T DO DISTANCES. PLEASE STOP CALLING ME AND STOP GIVING ME MESSAGES.” That was full blown proof that our relationship was over seemingly through no fault of our own. It felt sad and very abrupt but it was still my first ever intimate relationship. A landmark in my life. I got of the train at London Bridge and looked for a steward to ask if Norbury Station was still in function. Thankfully it was and I was guided to the platform that had a train that stopped at Norbury. Once I got of the station I was hoping that there would be no active trouble and thankfully there wasn’t any, although I did see a yellow car that smash into a mobile phone shop. I was just glad to have got home safely on a night of violence in Croydon. The next morning I called friends and family to see if they all of them were okay. Thankfully they were.

On Thursday the 8^th of September I attended the AGM of my chess club feeling rather tired and drowsy. During the meeting I had to speak about how my team has performed in the last 2 years (as I missed the previous AGM through illness) as one of the team captains. However the next day when I was at my parent’s house for a visit one of the vice-presidents of the club suggested on the phone that he takes over my team captaincy only because he thought that I was depressed! I had to tell him that I was not depressed I was tired. I couldn’t understand why he wanted to take over my position, especially since the club already elected me to carry on the position and besides, it’s only a small rapid-play team and he has plenty of jobs to do anyway. But I am glad to still have my position as the rapid-play team captain of South Norwood Chess Club. Especially now that the competition now has a new handicap format which affects the way a match result is perceived. From an individual perspective I am happy to say that at the tail end of the calendar year my chess performances have improved. Before the end of 2011 my 2011/12 standard-play record was 3 wins, 3 draws and just the 1 loss.

On Saturday the 1^st of October I played in the one-day rapid-play tournament at Coulsdon. I didn’t do to well in that tournament only managing to win two and a half points, winning just the one game out of the seven. I decided that I needed to sharpen up my tactical play so I decided to buy a book on chess tactics. However I realized that I did not have enough money in my bank account to buy the book so I decided to wait until the evening of Tuesday the 5^th to return to Coulsdon to purchase the book. I realized that they also played the card game of Bridge over there so I asked if I could browse to see how the game worked.  I was given the permission and after buying the book A Course in Chess Tactics. I was shown where to sit to observe. It was interesting to witness arguments between partners about how the hands and deals should be played. I also witness the usage of what are called bidding boxes which display what both pairs of partners are trying to achieve with their hands. I have since been to a couple of beginners’ sessions to learn how to play bridge as you would read about later.

During November I wondered what it would be like to be a woman with Asperger’s. Asperger Syndrome is a generally male condition as approximately only 1 in 10 people diagnosed are female. Hence I browsed the internet for a book on a female perspective of Asperger’s. I then found the book Asperger’s – If only you knew. A story about a woman named Sophia Summers only realises she has the condition years after the diagnosis of her son Josh.

On the 6^th and 8^th of December I went to the beginners Bridge classes in South Croydon suggested by my Chess club chairman. During the two sessions we learned what was called “mini-bridge”, a simplified version of the game without the bidding. The aim was to teach players new to bridge how to asses a hand and how to win tricks. I got to know some interesting people during those two days including a German woman who seemingly assumed that a cat that was present at the time was female, but I then learnt that it was because of the grammar of the German language which always refers to an unknown cat as female. I then heard that the cat’s name was Hector. So the cat was clearly a male. On the 16^th of the month I would go to the last NAS meeting of the year. NAS meetings are informal meetings run by the National Autistic Society that are usually held every last Thursday of each month at The George pub. However during December they accelerate the time of the meeting in time for Christmas, hence we had it on the 16^th. We reviewed how the year went for all of us and talk about plans for the New Year. For most of the evening we had a senior couple sit beside us. The man spoke to another member of the group about how much he hated Christmas and thought it was just a money making scheme. The woman eventually got involved and asked Maria, the woman running the group what the group was about. Afterwards the woman suddenly said to me “Can I just say what a handsome looking young man you are. You’re lovely”. Maria responded “There you go Richard; you’re a ladies’ man. (She’s Right I have been a ladies’ man this year. Don’t ask me how I’ve pulled it off but I have had my fair share of female attention in 2011) She said this on more than one occasion. After Maria left the pub the woman asked me to sit beside her. The man wanted to know how two people with autism can communicate together, and I generally said that you just ask a question to the person. He then asked so how does he (the other present group member) will respond. I told him that there are different levels of autism. During this conversation the woman was affectionately stroking my back still saying things like “You’re lovely”. The man happened to be a Jazz promoter and showed us his business card at the end of the evening and as we got off our chairs to go home the woman gave me a kiss on both cheeks. I realized that there was enough time to go to my chess club to talk about the evening. I spoke to the chairman of the club about the story between me and the old lady and he said in amusement “Those are the woman you should be avoiding”. Afterwards I would play a couple of games and go home.

What I have learnt about Brazil in 2019

What I have learnt about Brazil in 2019

Hello everyone,

As I am sure that many of you are aware, I have been showing great interest in a unique country that they call Brazil. This all began when I started volunteering work for a charity shop where the manager was Brazilian. Before too long, we were introduced to an assistant manager who also happened to be Brazilian. Before you know it, I started to learn Brazilian-Portuguese and embraced the rich culture that the country has. Here is what I have learned about Brazil in 2019.

People 

One of the nicest surprises that I got from Brazilian people is that they are generally very affectionate. They often meet with a cuddle and a kiss or a high-five (depending on the gender of the person) and often sound pretty excitable. However, another thing that I have noticed about Brazilians is that they are very talkative and often speak over each other. This means that I might struggle to contribute to conversations as I never quite know when it is my turn to talk.

Music 

Perhaps my favourite part of  Brazilian culture is the music. Brazil has lots and lots of great music. They have great genres like Samba, Axé, Bossa Nova and my personal favourite, Sertanejo. Brazilians love talking about music and many of them go to concerts to see their favourite artists perform live. One thing that I love about Brazilian music is that there is something for everyone.

Brazilian music is now one of my strongest incentives to continue to learn the Portuguese language as there are great beats and melodies to enjoy and many great singers with great voices.

One thing that Brazilian culture has taught me is that good music is good for the your mood and emotional system. I now regularly listen to it with earphones on the commute (via Spotify) to ease my anxieties while traveling.

Love

One thing that I have noticed about Brazilian people is that they often get married at a reletively early age. (Normally before the age of 25) I think this is because of the very open nature of dating within their culture. In general, you can complement a Brazilian woman more openly without having to worry about how she will take the complements. They nearly always appreciate them.

I love the fact that Brazilian couples try to do a much as they can together as a couple. Brazil is a country that encourages dating which means that you will always get certain people in Brazil who will give you certain advice on dating. One thing that I like particularly about Brazilian woman is that they are generally care-free, friendly, happy and supportive of the partners and each other. Brazilian women seem to be great partners to have!

O metro do londres é eu.

O metro do londres e eu.

Uma coisa eu que  odeio so viver em Londres e o metro do londres (London Underground) que é normalmente úmido e pode ficar um pouco assustador, especialmente quando se tem muitas pessoas dentro dos trens.

Recentemente, eu tentei ir dar uma aula de inglês mas eu foi em  uma hora de pico ("rush hour" em inglês)  é por causa disso chegei atrazado para a  aula a minha aluma me disse que ela precisava ir trabalhar. O boa notícia é que agora tenho eu consigo  entender melhor o metro, especialmente o Northern Line. 

Para dar a minha primeira aula de inglês eu levanto a 5:00 horas para pegar o meu trem a 6:45 da manhã. isto  significa que  eu chego a ao meu destino evitando então 1 hora de pico.

Uma outra coisa que  eu nao gosto de sobre o metro e o ruido, como eu tenho os ouvidos sensiveis  eu escuto completamente todos as coisas. Mas felizmente, eu posso colocar os fones de ouvido e com o meu iPhone ouvir  algumas das musicas brasileiras. Isto me ajuda lidar com os problemas que eu tenho com viagem do metro.

My Review of 2019

MY REVIEW OF 2019

This year has been a year of significant transformation in my life.

In May, I got a voluntary job for the first time in 7 years in a charity shop and developed a new love for Brazilian language, food, music and culture. Unfortunately, I left the job in December, however, in return, I have made some new friends and I am getting the opportunity to get meet new people all around London.

 I won the under 1700 CCF Rapid-Play championship grading prize back in May. However, while playing in a Rapid-Play event, I had this feeling in my heart that told me that it is now time for me to move on from Chess and focus on other goals in my life. I have decided that I will retire from over-the-board tournament play after 15 years as a member of South Norwood Chess Club and 20 years of playing overall. It has been an emotional journey with the game of Chess and I am sure that I will miss it dearly when it all comes to an end but I am thankful for everything that the game has offered me because it has made me the man and person that I am today.

I have also been made a trainee accountant for the same building that South Norwood Chess Club are based. This is great for me because I actually have a qualification in accounting and now I finally get the chance to make use of it.

There is actually a lot that I am looking forward to in 2020.

Here are the gifts and lessons that I have been given this year.

GIFTS

• A new voluntary job.
• A new foreign language journey with Portuguese.
• New self-designed yoga routines.
• A developing sense of fashion.
• Language exchange sessions
• New retail skills
• New inter-personal skills
• The 2019 U1700 CCF Rapid-play grading prize.

LESSONS

• I still get overwhelmed by loud sounds and music .
• The best medicines are natural ones like fruit and vegetables .
• I still suffer from anxiety and overwhelm when I am having to do too many things in a short period of time.
• I have to be honest about my autism spectrum diagnosis no matter how painful it may be to disclose it.
• People who act without conscience can have an overwhelming impact on me.

Minhas dias da formaçao.

Minhas dias da formaçao

Quando eu tenho 5 anos, eu não pode falar. Porque de isso, eu não começar escola de normal antes eu tenho 7 anos. Eu  comencado da escola de especial.

Quando eu comencado escola de primeiro, eu tenho  uma professora de suportar e ajudou me com trabalho de escola da classe.

Minha matéria melhores na eescola era matemática e francês.


Quando eu comencei escola de segundo, eu serra um garota com cabela ruiva quem eu realmente gostei. Eu realmente querei ser com la. Eu amei la muito muitos esse eu comencei abraçar la, mas ela falei a minha  professora de suportar e ela dizei esse eu não devoria abraço la. Eu sei muito triste. Quando eu tenho 14 anos, eu sentei esse não pessoas amei me. Eu  realmente odei-me. Quando eu tenhei minha finale exame de GCSE.





Quando eu era do ensino medio, eu estudou tecnologia da infornaçao para 2 anos e contabilidade.para 1 ano. Eu sair meu ensino medio quando eu tenho 19 anos.

Premeiro blog em Português. (BR)

Premeiro blog em português (BR)

My first blog in Brazilian-Portuguese.

Eu nome é Richard, eu tenho 33 anos e eu vivo em Norbury. Eu tenho aprender o português para 3 meses. Eu trabalho com 2 pessoas brasileiros em um loja de roupas. Eu trabalho para 11 horas para semana em segunda-feira, quanto-feira e domingo. Eu gosto de andar trabalhar e velo todo árvores em estradas em streatham.

Eu tenho um pae, uma mae e 3 Irmãs . Minha mãe e para gana e meu pae e para são vicente e Granadinas en o caribe. Ma família vivo en uma casa  do croydon e eu vivo en um apartamento no  norbury.

Meu aniversário e en 12 de abril.

Meus hobbies isso xadrez, meditação, yoga, andar, livro, e escita.

Eu gostaria ir brasil um dia.

Obrigado para livro.

My road to Chess Glory: Part 5: Hollow Victories

My road to Chess Glory: Part 5: Hollow Victories.

During the summer of 2012, I found myself playing in the Wernick cup again after just 1 campaign in the Felce cup 2 years before. (I was too unwell to play at all in the summer of 2011) I won my section comfortably, dropping just a half-point along the way with 3 wins and a draw which meant that I qualified for the 4-player, 3- game final of the tournament in the autumn. I had 2 wins and 1 loss in the final, losing only to the eventual champion. During that time, I also started playing as a member of Coulsdon Chess Fellowship. (CCF)

On the 13th of September 2012, South Norwood had their Annual General Meeting. (AGM) which I had to attend to as a captain of the Stoneleigh trophy. I was also technically a team captain of the Ellary Williams Memorial Trophy team at that point but the competition did not run in the previous season.

I actually went into the meeting with a report on a small piece of paper. After I mentioned the Stoneleigh Trophy team's record of 2 wins, 1 draw and 3 losses, I told the club at the AGM that I had felt a lot of scrutiny from the vice-president of the club who also happened to be the inter-club tournaments director. He responded to the summary of my report in a way that would have a strong emotional impact on me throughout the 2012/13 season. There was one quote he made that still remains in my memory to this day. He said "You don't pick your mates". I found this statement very upsetting because throughout my whole life, I have always struggled to make friends and have lived a predominantly lonely existence. He also said "As a captain I have won over 30 team titles. If it did it your way, I wouldn't even have 5". It was clear that he was not in favour of me being captain of the team. Another reason why I found those words so upsetting is that like in the previous season, I felt a lot of excruciating pressure to include the vice-captain in my team. A feeling that would lead to a small series of anxiety attacks. In fact, the humiliation of that night would continue as he also said things about me like "With all due respect, he hasn't set the world alight" and then another demoralising quote. "Take Richard's picture down (from the official club website) and replace it with a YouTube video of Yang-Fan Zhou. (A new member of the club at the time who was already a grand-master.)

I remember leaving that AGM feeling hurt and deflated my the vice-president's comments. I momentary thought about leaving the club at that point but I also thought that I am not going to give up on the chance of winning a team title as a captain, especially as I had a clear game plan to win the Stoneleigh Trophy so I decided to brave the season and hope that things would go my way. That said throughout the season, I felt obliged to have the vice-president in all of my matches.

Our first Stoneleigh match was away to Streatham. Around this time, I announced that I wanted to take a one-season break from playing for my county because of persistant illnesses. After mentioning the rules and dynamics of the competition, the vice-president decided to humiliate me again by saying that I wouldn't play in his county team but I still select him for my Stoneleigh team. He made me sound like I could not be bothered to play for his county team when in reality, I was struggling with allergic rhinitis and migraine headaches.

Before each Stoneleigh match, the two team captains try to work out the correct target scores for both teams. The target scores are based on the differences in combined grades between the two teams. In the end, Streatham needed 7 and a half game points just for a draw and all 8 to win the match while my South Norwood team only needed a half-point to draw the match and just 1 to win.

In the first half of the match, we all lost our games on all of the boards. I remember missing a tactic from my opponent in my first game with the white pieces. However, it was in the second half of the match (when we play with reversed colours) I won my game with Black. My opponent played a rather unorthodox opening, but I found a way to get into a good position and eventually out played him in the endgame. That was the full-point that won us the match.

Later that week, I would give an e-mail to various members of the club about how I felt about my treatment as a captain of the Ellary Williams Memorial Trophy team as well as the Stoneleigh team titled "Asking for Respect". In the e-mail, I mentioned that I had a series of illnesses and difficult events that I had in the 2 previous years as well as the fact that I had felt very humiliated as a captain.

A month later, we would have our second Stoneleigh match when our visiting opposition came with a team that had a combined grade that was over the 700 point limit. The match commenced as normal, however, the visitors were eventually penalised accordingly. Interestingly however, we would have won the match anyway as one of my teammates beat a player graded over 200 points in one of his two games while our top board also scored a victory. After that match, the vice-president complained about the content of the e-mail mentioned above saying that I insulted him. I replied almost tearfully by saying that he said things to me in the AGM that I would have never said to him. He eventually apologised.

After that, my season as a captain went smoothly. In fact, the season went perfectly as on Monday 21st January 2013, we won the Stoneleigh trophy after winning an away match at Guildford with a match to spare with a perfect record of 5 wins from 5 matches. My Stoneleigh formula was a flying success. I cannot even start to explain how proud I was for myself, the team and the entire club. It was quite frankly one of the most satisfying moments of my chess career. On Thursday 21st March 2013, My Ellary Williams Memorial Trophy team would also win their title with a perfect record of 5 out of 5 with a match to spare after a home win against the same club.

You would think that with all of that success, my chess life would be very enjoyable from here on. However, on the following Sunday evening, I would see an e-mail from somebody saying that a match which I was due to play in for someone else's team was postponed because there were certain people who would be playing in that match who wanted to watch a football match. It was the World Cup qualifier, England vs Macedonia. I was absolutely outraged by this decision. The idea of a chess team-match being postponed because other people wanted to go to Wembely Stadium or watch the game on T.V. was to me a total disgrace. I phoned the inter-club tournaments director who also happened to be our vice-president to question the decision. The reaction that I got from him was equally shocking. After mentioning that both captains agreed to the postponement of the match, he went on to say "it has nothing to do with you" "What do you mean it has nothing to do with me?" I angrily replied. After further angry exchanges, he hung up the phone on me. I was so appalled by both the postponement and the phone call that I decided to cancel the remaining matches of  both my teams' schedules out of protest against the postponement . I doubt that any football match is ever postponed for a chess event of any description so why should a chess event be postponed because of football ? I just don't think it is fair .

Although the final Ellary Williams match remained cancelled, the Final Stoneleigh match still happened with the inter-club tournaments director taking charge of the team. I twice attempted to reason with him but in the end, it was clear that he was just one of those people who seem to think that they are in the right all the time and was simply unreasonable. In the intervening time, I also suffered an asthma attack. No doubt that the stress and emotional pain would have played some part in my admission to hospital back then in what was an incredibly dramatic and  traumatic period for me as a tournament chess player.