Is Autism Just Human Evolution?

Is Autism Just Human Evolution?

My diagnosis story

According to my parents, I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome at the age of 10. However, the condition was never explained to me at the time of the diagnosis. In fact I was in a constant state of disbelief of the idea of me having the condition until I arranged a one of appoint ment with a secretary at my local surgery to see my medical records. For me to realise this truth was heartbreaking. I thought I was like every other person on the planet but clearly, medical science had other ideas.

The medical mystery

Throughout my life, I have had Asperger Syndrome (AS) and other Autistic Spectrum Disorders (ASDs) be called all sorts of things. I've heard it be called a mental illness, learning disability, medical condition and even a disease!

Medical science always puts a negative connotation to the autism spectrum. Many have said that there has to be a cure for it. However, I am hearing more and more no YouTube that ASDs are rather a step in human evolution. This way of thinking about ASDs is certainly not out of the question when you consider th growing amount of cases around the world. (even without the controversial MMR vacccine) Many scientists have struggled for decades to find the cause of ASDs but alas have yet to find an answer.

What is the truth?

So is autism really just a step in human evolution? If scientists are not able to give a definite external reason for the sharp rise of ASD cases then we are clearly seeing a transformation within the human species. Society is always demanding us to conform and be like everyone else as if we were all ment to be the same person. Society is always fearful of someone who is different in some way. However, it is our differences that makes the human condition as rich as it is.

As you are about to learn from these 3 videos, there are a growing amount of people who beleive that ASDs are not "illness" that have to be "cured" in some waybut rather a step in human evolution. Maybe all of us will be "autistic" in some way.

Teal Swan: Autism (Understanding Autism, Autistic Children and Autistic Adults) - Teal Swan

Arthur Arcturus: Is Asperger's Human 2.0

Tony Atwood: is Asperger Syndrome the next stage of human evolution?

Dear 16 Year Old Me.

Dear 16 Year Old Me.

Dear 16 year old me.

I learnt recently that you are currently revising for your GCSEs and that you will soon be leaving St Mary's high school. and start studying Information Technology at Croydon College in September. I know that there will be challenging times ahead of you so here is some advice for coping with the adult world.

1). Never listen to negative people.

There will always be people out there who will look down at you in some way. They will do anything to bring you down. They will always doubt you . If you have persistant belief in your dreams than you can achieve anything.

2). Never listen to anyone who tries to change you.

You are wonderful just the way you are. There will be people out there that will never appreciate your inner value. Stay the way you are and you will be fine.

3). Remember that you are a person with multiple talents.

You can be whoever you want if you really dedicate your heart and mind to fulfilling your potential.you have the ability to do many things in life.

4). Cherish yourself.

Remember that you are a person worthy of love. No matter how negative other people are of you no matter how lonely of isolated you feel, remember that you are ALWAYS worthy of love.

5). Cherish all the positive people in your life.

A person who makes you fell good about yourself and gives you good advice is a precious gift that you should never take for granted. you always deserve to have good, loving , caring and encouraging people around you. However, such people are rare and you should invest as much time with these people as possible.

Wishing you all the best in your life.

Yours Truly

Richard Davis Aged 16.....x2 = 32. (Still a maths wizz! Kind of!)

Loving Language: Part 3: Healing Words.

LOVING LANGUAGE 

PART 3: HEALING WORDS

Medicine from the mouth

Language has the power to both heal and hurt. in the last blog, I talked about how language can hurt, now I will talk about themselves and even heal mental and emotional wounds. Loving language is literally like medicine. Once taken, can ease the pain that may have been present in a person and can make someone feel better instantly. Unlike medicines for the physical body when we have to pay for them or get a prescription from our G.P. the medicine of loving language and healing words is absolutely free!  It costs nothing to send it and it costs nothing to receive it.

The poisoned tongue

A lot of us fall into the trap of speaking dismissively towards ourselves and others. In this way we are slowly poisoning ourselves and other people in a spiritual sense. A lot of the language used in modern day society is toxic. We have come accustomed to name calling, swearing, insults, put-downs and other forms of harsh language. In fact, I recently learnt from a book that 75%  of out verbal programming to ourselves and others is negative in some way.

Small sentence, big difference

Loving Language can can come in may forms like compliments, praise, encouragement and consolation. They are usually small words and sentences that can uplift a spirit of a person. The impact of a healing word or sentence to a person is often underestimated. A healing word can literally transform someone in a beautiful way.

The other night, before a meditation, I decided to read one of my spiritual books which was an ancient text. There is on verse which I remembered which had a profound definition of the value of language. It read: "Better than a thousand meaningless words collected together is a single meaningful word on hearing which one becomes tranquil".

I find this quote to be very profound. It basically means that no matter how long the message is, if it has no meaning to it then it wont have any effect on a person. However, Loving language often comes in very small phrases like "I love you" "You are beautiful", "Thank you" "How are you?" "You can do it!" "You are great". Notice how these phrases are only a few words long and yet their uplifting power is immense.

Perhaps for the sake of this blog, we could change the above verse slightly to "Better than a thousand phrases of hurt collected together is a small healing phrase on hearing which one becomes loved".

"You are beautiful"

There has been some social experiments on YouTube where woman were told that they were beautiful. I think it is safe to say that they were uplifted by just one word. "Beautiful".

Kind words are so simple and so priceless and get a lot of us struggle to give and receive a kind or phrase to oneself or others.

We should all make it our goal in life to speak as kindly and as positively to ourselves and others as possible so that we can heal hearts and minds one word at a time.

Loving Language Part 2: Harsh Words

LOVING LANGUAGE PART 2 : HARSH WORDS

In part 1 I came to the conclusion that love is about positive emotion. When we feel positive about something, it is easy to give love. However, inevitably in life we will have thoughts and feelings about ourselves, and others that are by nature, negative. All of us are given negative feedback from other people from time to time, and that's OK if the criticism is constructive. However, most of the time, criticism is constructive. However, most of the time, criticism is harsh, destructive and hurtful. There are many relationships out there that use hurtful language to each other. I for one have been involved in many relationships where both of us have used hurtful language and even done hurtful actions towards each other. It's amazing how 2 people who were once seemed inseparable can suddenly break each other apart just because on person or both was unable to use language wisely.

When we are speaking to another person, we have to remember that we can provoke an emotion in that person which can be detrimental to the relationship later on. Language is a powerful tool. If it's used in the right way, you will gain countless benefits, If you use it wrongly the there will be endless problems.

We can literally change the world through the nature of our language. Harsh words create friction, conflict and even war. However, with loving compassionate language to ourselves and others and care about how we speak to other people, we can make our world a better place and even heal the world of it's problems.

I will write about the positive effect of loving language in the next blog of this series.

Illness at Work: Should I stay home?

ILLNESS AT WORK

Should I stay home?

There are many things about the working world that I find straight forward. You wake up early, you turn-up to your work on time, you dress appropriately, you listen to you boss and you dedicate yourself to the task ahead of you. OK. That understood. However, there has always been an area of confusion from my perspective about when you are part of the work-force and suddenly, you fall ill.

When I was working as a volunteer administrator at Thornton Heath Citizen's Advice Bureau between June 2010 and August 2012, there were unfortunately, too many days when I would have to call unwell to my manager because of persistant medical symptoms. Those symptoms included cold and flu, headaches, hay-fever, asthma, and diarrhoea. My manager seemed to be fine with me calling off work due to poor health. However, I was getting moans from one of my key workers saying that I should not be having so many days of work.

The Mystery Illness

I never intended to have so many days of work but my body clearly had other ideas. It should also be noted that at the time of working in the bureau that I had to move home and had this "mystery illness" which was yet to be properly diagnosed. I was going through hell medically as it seemed that I would fall ill for no reason. I had countless appointments with my GP about what was going on with my body. Why was I having so many headaches? Why was I having on-going cold and flu symptoms?Would it ever end? My confidence in the working world got lower and lower and I seriously questioned if I was really fit for the working world.

In early 2011, I just felt more and more dysfunctional. I wasn't able to walk very far because of my on-going symptoms and everyday felt like a struggle. At first I got the diagnosis of sinusitis in order to explain the headaches that I was getting and then I was re-diagnosed with allergic rhinitis six months later. Finally, I got to know what the "mystery illness" was and I can finally get the relevant treatment for the symptoms. That said, I was still struggling with constant fatigue which would occasionally make me feel drowsy and often oversleep.

The Health Problems Continue

Going into the new year of 2012, I thought I would have seen the end of my period of persistant illness. However, in March of that year I had an aggressive form of diarrhoea which saw me in hospital for a weekend. In May, I had the first of 2 asthma attacks of that year and I would have the other one in June. It was after the June attack that I decided to resign from my post as a volunteer administrator for the Thornton Heath Citizen's Advice Bureau.

Last year (2017) I saw an internet article saying that flu symptom does affect both your physical and your mental performance and therefore will affect your productivity.

https://www.shape.com/lifestyle/mind-and-body/your-brain-cold-and-flu

The Unanswered Question

I am just being honest when I say that I am not able to work properly when my body is in a dysfunctional state but the question remains: When I am not feeling well, do I stay home or do I try to commit myself to the working day despite my symptoms?

Until that question is answered, I don't think I will ever have the confidence to be part of the working world as a don't believe that I will be able to keep a job for long.

My Review of 2017

MY REVIEW OF 2017

New Spiritual Discoveries

I Started the year by trying to find the Brixton Buddhist Centre which happens to be small room that is hired for meditation and various therapy  treatments located in a small building called "Yoga Point" where yoga classes predominate. My initial search for this place was in August 2016. However, there were a few bus diversions around London at that time which made it too difficult to find the location. Thankfully, with the help of the internet, I was able to find the Brixton Buddhist Centre for a meditation and Buddhism class. I loved the bedroom like aura of the meditation room. It helped me feel right at home and I settled into the meditation very quickly. At the same time, the Croydon Buddhist Centre was having it's shrine room re-built and refurbished. The new shrine room officially opened on the 13th May, I first paid a visit to this new shrine room on the evening of Wednesday 28th June while attending a meditation class.

Meditation, Buddhism and spirituality has played an increasingly important part of my life this year. I feel like I am gaining valuable life lessons from my spiritual studies.

I subscribed to the American Buddhist magazine "Lion's Roar" on Thursday 2nd March. "Lion's Roar" is a bi-monthly magazine that gives Buddhist wisdom on everyday life experiences.

Life Blog

On Saturday 21st January, I launched my own personal life blog on the internat where I would create and publish articles about my opinions, experiences and lessons on life. The first entry of the blog is the review of 2016 which was dedicated to my elder sister Mariam who sadly passed away in April of that year. This year, I have touched on topics like anger and loneliness.

Chess

This has proven to be my most successful in Chess to date. My ECF standard-play grade reached an all-time high of 134. I won my first major individual championship since winning the Wernick cup in 2009. The 7 and a half year wait finally came to an end in April when I eventually claimed the CCF Division 1 title with a record of 6 wins, 3 draws and 2 losses. I showed the trophy to my family and we took photos to remember the occasion with. 

I also had my best summer campaign this year where I entered in 2 competitions. The CCF cup and the Felce cup. I finished joint 2nd in the CCF Cup where i won my first 5 games before losing in round 6 due mainly to a mistake in the opening. I pressed for a win in the 7th and final round but I eventually lost and had to settle for finishing joint 2nd. I won £45 in prize money.

In the Felce Cup, I won the South Norwood section with a record of 3 wins and 1 loss. This promoted me to the Felce Cup final where I faced the winners of the other 2 sections.

I won the first game of the final after an adjournment but lost the other 3 games mainly due to bad opening play. However, I did win £10 in prize money for finishing 3rd overall in the tournament.

The Easter Rapidplay at CCF was another event where I had success where I shared 2nd place and won £17.50 in prize money.

On Sunday 12 March, I launched a Facebook group called "The Dragon Kingdom of Chess, Xiangi and Shogi. This was originally just about Chess and Shogi but there was also interest in the game of Xiangqi. Xiangqi and Shogi are Chinese and Japanese equivalents of Chess. Members are free to post anything that is that is related to any of the 3 games.

Back in 2015, I decided to run 2 Super League teams at CCF. Both of them were called "The Dragon Kings" after one of the 7 professional titles in Shogi. There was the long -play Super League with a record of 6 wins and a draw and hence has been promoted to the "Premiership". The rapid-play team also had a decent calender year as they finished in third place with a record of 3 wins 1 draw and 1 loss.

They started the new season well enough with 2 wins to start their campeign, however, at the time of writting, we lost our 3rd match mainly due to a default.

On Saturday the 16th and Sunday the 17th of December, I played in the CCF Christmas Congress "Major" section. I took a bye in round 3 but otherwise played in the other 4 rounds. In the 4 games that I played in, I had 3 wins and 1 loss. It was my first long-play congress in 3 years.

The lowest point of the year however was having to leave South Norwood Chess Club for a second time after falling out once again with one of the vice-presidents. I actually lead the club to winning the Ellary Williams Memorial Trophy for a second time.  However, my conscience became clear when the vice-president in question insulted the head president of the club. I was so insulted by his behaviour that I decided that I no longer wished to work with him anymore.

I sent the vice-president an email to announce the termination of our relationship. However, he actually tried to bribe me into playing for his teams but I made it clear to him that I do not play chess for money.  He also tried to suppress my feelings and thoughts about him over the phone.  That made it clear to me that this was not a healthy relationship. In the end,  I had to make a second email to him just to understand the simple 3 word sentence "end of relationship ". Eventually, I decided that there is no point staying at the club if there is somebody there that is going to destroy my mental health. It's always a sad moment when you have to leave a place that you once considered a second home but sometimes you have to do what is best for your own well being.

Yoga

For most of the year, I have been interested in finding suitable and affordable yoga class to attend. Luckily, I found a banner outside my local park advertising various activities that was to take place in a local Hindu temple. One of those was a yoga class that takes place every Friday. I had my first attendance there on the 8th of September. It was challenging but also enjoyable. The best thing about the venue for the yoga classes is that they are free and only a couple of blocks from where I live. i hope to go to more yoga classes in 2018.

My Spiritual Future

Since the beginning of 2016, I have been on a personal spiritual path which has significantly enhanced my inner contentment. I have bought and discovered a lot of materials on spiritual development. However my most profound discovery of the year was the Be Here Now Network YouTube channel and website https://beherenownetwork.com/ which provides podcasts with recordings of some of the best spiritual teachers in the west. I enjoy listening to these podcasts when I am working by my computer or even occasionally when I am trying to sleep. I have to say that I general, I feel more complete now then I have been in a long time. In fact, back in November, I learnt something uplifting about one of the most talked about aspects of my natural way of  being; self talk. For a lot of my life and especially during my childhood, I was often shamed and told-off for talking to myself which as I understand now is caused by intensive thoughts. I have always been an intensive thinker. In some respects, until 2016, I was addicted to thinking. Most of the activities that I have enjoyed for most of my life have involved thinking. One of the great things that my spiritual path is that it has helped me be aware of the thoughts that I have and be able to control, monitor and reduce the intensity of my thoughts and emotions. I have also been well informed on the internet that self-talk is normal and every one talks to themselves . This is a relief to me as I was often told during my childhood that self -talk was "the first sign of madness". Now I'm even told that self-talk is the first sign of success! I even bought a book online called "What to say when you talk to yourself" by Shad Helmstetter which explains how we program our own minds to determine how much success that we have in life.

2017 has proven to be a year of spiritual enhancement and self discovery. I am currently going through an exciting period of my life where I am finding more and more ways to increase and maintain my inner contentment. It's also been a year when a long wait for real success over the chessboard has finally come to an end and I now feel like I know what's best for me both as a chess-player and a person.

The End

Completed on Saturday 13 January 2018

The Human Volcano

The Human Volcano

What is a human volcano?

A "human volcano" is a person who has been seen to have extreme anger issues and generally behaves in a a way that is destructive to both oneself and other people.

These people may seem irritable all the time and may easily get offended by seemingly trivial events.

Why do some people end up like this?

My Eruptions

While I don't claim to have all the answers, I can certainly talk from personal experience. Yes. I was once a human volcano. I grew up feeling a lot of pressure from my family, school teachers and fellow pupils to be a certain way. While this is normal for all of us, there were certain things that I found too much to take. For one thing, I was occasionally bullied in school and that hurt my self-esteem. However, bullying did not always end at school. There were times when I would feel bulled at home too. I was bullied mainly for my curly hair, my thoughts being spoken out loud and not having any friends.

Throughout my conscious childhood, I received many dismissive words about my way of being from my family. This left me feeling not only angry but neglected also. My anger was at it's worst when I was 16 years old. At that point in time, I had regular fallouts with my mother because of her dismissive language towards me. She would call me "mad" and "mental" on a regular basis. This was the last thing I needed when I was taking my GCSEs and preparing for college.

Why anger is only half the problem

There are many people out there who are considered to have an anger problem. However, I believe that in most cases that anger is only half the problem with "human volcanoes" There is usually a deeper underlying problem that is yet to be resolved or even talked about.

The magma in you soul

There are many things out there that make us "boil over" and provoke what I call the "magma" of the soul. When the magma get too much we start to "erupt" and the emotional "lava" comes out. There are many causes of "magma" in our soul. like trauma, anger, feelings of inferiority, emotional pain, insults, hostile environments, stress, pressure, fear and frustration which if allowed to overflow becomes emotional lava to the other person.

While it is normal to experience a lot of the above, when they have accumulated for a long time without resolution, the "magma" eventually becomes "lava" the consequences can be very damaging both the the individual and people close to the individual.

How to heal a human volcano

As we have learnt above, anger is like a fire. If it is not deal with quickly, then a catastrophe occurs. So how do we deal with anger? How do we cool the lava and flames within us?

While I do not claim to be an expert on this matter, I can certainly make positive suggestions based on my personal experiences. I think these 4 steps will be of some help to cool the flames of anger:

1). Realisation

I think the first step of any pain healing process is the realisation of the pain itself. Anger in the most extreme sense is a form of pain and we have to realise what is hurting us before it leads to something catastrophic for both you and your loved ones.

2. Find the triggers

If you look at your anger carefully, you will notice that your anger takes on a certain pattern or correlation of events. I realised in my own personal experience that it was the harsh words of other people that was the main cause of my anger. I would easily get upset or offended by what someone said to me. When I realised this I decided to give myself this mantra or affirmation that I took to my meditation practice. The mantra was "There words are not me. My words are not them". The whole point of this phrases was to detach my mind from the words that other people would say to me. It would also make me realise that I can also say harsh words to other people. When I practised this, I realised a positive difference it made to the way I absorbed other people's words. I was less impacted  by them.

Knowing your triggers and finding a solution can really help you make good progress towards healing the inner wounds of anger.

3. Self Awareness and acceptance

When we are angry, we often lose presence and self awareness. When anger is intense we lose conscience of our words and actions towards other people. How can we improve our conscience and awareness of our thoughts and feelings? How can we manage them better? In my experience my cure for my eruptions was meditation. Try spending 10 minutes a day to close your eyes, breath deeply and listen to your thoughts and feeling during this time.

Important Note: Do NOT  try to change your thoughts or feelings at any point during this exercise.  The whole point of this is to be aware of what you are really thinking without judgement. If you are angry at his moment then just accept that feeling for what it is. Thoughts will come and thoughts will go. Accept it for what it is.

Even a simple awareness of your anger can help you deal with your anger better. If you are able to increase your awareness of your thoughts and feelings then you will have better management of them.

4. Self-Love

If you look at our world carefully, we an see that there is a lot of hate in this world. You can also see that there are many things out there that actually teach us to hate ourselves for who we are. Our society tell us to conform with others and treat us like we are all meant to be the same as each other. This is a common mis-interpretation that virtually every society has. We are all different and we should be able to embrace the qualities that makes us unique and special.

Like in the last step above yon can spend 10 minutes of meditation a day or whatever spare time you have to yourself to close your eyes or gaze lightly on a spot, focus no your breathing and quietly and slowly say in your own mind a mantra or affirmation like "I am loved" or "I am worthy of love" . We all deserve love and we all deserve to embrace our own unique experience.

Summary

I have always believed that anger is the world's most mis-understood emotion. I think this is because we only see the surface layer of anger. The "aggression" or the "attack" that is simply the release of the emotional pain. I hope I have given some insight into the reality of anger and what can be found inside an angry person.

Hopefully, one day, we can look at anger with loving kindness and cool the lava and flames of the human volcano. With practise, patience, time and love, the human volcano becomes a peaceful and serene human lake.