My road to chess glory: Part 4: Scrutiny

My road to chess glory: Part 4 : Scrutiny

The 2011/12 proved to be a difficult season for me not just as a player but also as a team captain. At the time, I was the captain of the Stoneleigh trophy team and the competition recently had some major changes to the format. The Stoneleigh trophy was an inter-club,rapid-play team competition where there are 8 game between the two teams in each match. Each player score 1 game point for winning a game and half a game point for a draw. each match is essentially in 2 halves with 4 games played in the first half and the other 4 being played in the second half (usually, it's the same 4 players playing reversed colours; although they a team can choose to have 4 different players for the second half.) Whichever team scored the most game points for their team wins the match. However, before the start of the new season, I was told that there would be told that there would be a new handicap match format for the competition which meant both teams would have to reach a "target" score in order to draw a match and exceed it to win.

Before the season started, I had a game-plan about how to win the Stonleigh trophy. I wanted to be
one step ahead of my opposition. Basically, I wanted as bag a grade range as I can possibly get. As high-ranked a player as possible on board 1 and as low-ranked a player as I can get. on board 4 with average players on boards 2 and 3. New thinking for a new format. however , this philosophy cane under heave criticism from a member of the club who also happened to be the inter-club tournaments director of the Surrey board and vice-president of South Norwood chess club which I was a member of at the time. he simply wanted me to select the strongest players that I can get. Infect I almost had my captaincy for the Stoneleigh team stolen from me as he phoned the day after the 2011 A.G.M saying that he should take over the opposition because he thought I was "depressed" in the A.G.M. I had to tell him that I was not depressed but tired and I was still willing to run the team .

In the first match, we narrow lost by 1 point and the vice-president told me on my mobile phone on my way home after the match "you need to get someone who will get you a point". He simply didn't appreciate what I was trying to achieve with my player selections and first thought I chose a weak team. The results were not going our way and we only had one match win in our first four matches which meant we were unable to win the competition.  What made things worse for me was the fact that before our fifth match I had a serious stomach infection where I had to go to hospital one early Saturday morning which left me feeling weak for a few days. During  that time I had a very rude phone call from the vice-president accusing me of "falling asleep", clearly unaware of what happened to me during that week-end. The illness also meant that I had little time or energy to think of what kind on team I wanted to have for the match. I thought that I might as well experiment with one or two players who had not previously been in the team. However, the vice-president decided to take the law into his own hands and demanded that he should be in the team over another player. This lead to me having a strong panic attack as I felt as if he was denying me my rights as a captain to select the team that I wanted. Out of shear panic, I gave in and asked him what team he wanted me to have. He gave me the list of 4 players he wanted me to have for his team which inevitably included himself in replacement of another player. I felt like my power and rights as a team captain were instantly taken away from me. It was a moment where I felt named and shamed. We eventually won the fifth match our only victory that season. The final match ended in a draw.

I will never forget that phone call from the vice-president for as long as I live. The feeling of powerlessness I had during that moment haunted me for a couple of months and changed the way I viewed the vice-president. However the worst was yet to come. 

My road to Chess Glory: Part 3: The road to recovery.

Going into the 2011/12 season, I decided to make major changes to the way I played chess. Before the start of this particular season, I had a style that I eventually called "Tempo Hunting". This style of play was aggressive, but was also tactics dependent and required sharp calculation for it to be successful. I realised that my ailing body was not able to compete in the tactics department. Therefore, I adopted a more positional style. I changed my repertoire and relied more on judgement rather than calculation. After a while, I saw my results improving. However in the summer of 2012 when I was preparing to make my debut in the CCF Cup, I found myself suffering an asthma attack and had to go to hospital about a week before the start of the tournament which ment I was forced to take a bye in the opening round. This left me feeling fatigued for the rest of the summer as I could only manage an equal score of 3 wins and 3 losses. I did however did better in the Wernick Cup that year as I won my section and therefore qualified for the final on my first appearance in the competition since winning it in 2009. It was a 4-way final where I finished runner-up after 2 wins and 1 loss, losing only to the overall winner.

Different (A poem)

DIFFERENT

If they are red then I am blue.

If they are false then I am true.

If they are right then I am wrong.

If they are short then I am long.

If they are hot the I am cold.

If they are fresh the I am mould.

If they are square then I am round.

If they are a penny then I am a pound.

So here I am, something new.

So here I am, out of the blue.

So here I am, fitting in

So here I am, blending in

So here I am, it's all change.

So here I am, let's re-arrange.

So here I am, It's only me!

So here I am, can we just be?

I am different, something new.

I am different, a point of view.

I am different, rain or shine.

I am different, a pure devine.

I am different, so they say.

I am different come what may.

I am different, so it's true.

I am different, ... but then so are you!

My life direction(as of April 2018)

My life direction( as of April 2018)

Me with the Wernick Cup which i won in 2009

My Chess Career

I recently announced on Facebook that I will retire from over-the-board tournament chess at he end of the 2019 CCF cup. This is so that I can have full focus on my spiritual journey where I can grow and develop as a person. This will be the end of a 14 year journey that started in 2005 and I am thankful for everything the game has given me.

My Shogi 1-Dan Persuit

Shogi is the Japanese form of Chess

I have really been into Shogi recently. Shogi is the Japanese form of chess which I first learnt to play in 2008. I joined the Shogi playing site 81 Dojo in March 2012. For the first time in my life, I feel like I am now a stronger Shogi player then I am a chess player and now fell  like I can reach the rank of 1-Dan by the end of the year. At this point, I would like to join the World Shogi League but I don't know how at this point.

My Buddhist Path

In April 2016, I announced on Facebook that I am following and studying Buddhism. There has been many wonderful life lessons that i have learnt from Buddhism and other spiritual studies.I hope to one day become part of my local Buddhist community. I think it will give me a real sense of belonging in the world.

Finding Work

One of the most frustrating aspects of my life is that I have never really known what i really want from a career. i studied I.T. and accounting in college and have had voluntary administration jobs in the past but I have never really known what I want to do professionally. At this point in time, I am thinking about studying psychology, perhaps with one day being a psychologist, a therapist of a counsellor. However, this is just a vague thought at the moment.

Is Autism Just Human Evolution?

Is Autism Just Human Evolution?

My diagnosis story

According to my parents, I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome at the age of 10. However, the condition was never explained to me at the time of the diagnosis. In fact I was in a constant state of disbelief of the idea of me having the condition until I arranged a one of appoint ment with a secretary at my local surgery to see my medical records. For me to realise this truth was heartbreaking. I thought I was like every other person on the planet but clearly, medical science had other ideas.

The medical mystery

Throughout my life, I have had Asperger Syndrome (AS) and other Autistic Spectrum Disorders (ASDs) be called all sorts of things. I've heard it be called a mental illness, learning disability, medical condition and even a disease!

Medical science always puts a negative connotation to the autism spectrum. Many have said that there has to be a cure for it. However, I am hearing more and more no YouTube that ASDs are rather a step in human evolution. This way of thinking about ASDs is certainly not out of the question when you consider th growing amount of cases around the world. (even without the controversial MMR vacccine) Many scientists have struggled for decades to find the cause of ASDs but alas have yet to find an answer.

What is the truth?

So is autism really just a step in human evolution? If scientists are not able to give a definite external reason for the sharp rise of ASD cases then we are clearly seeing a transformation within the human species. Society is always demanding us to conform and be like everyone else as if we were all ment to be the same person. Society is always fearful of someone who is different in some way. However, it is our differences that makes the human condition as rich as it is.

As you are about to learn from these 3 videos, there are a growing amount of people who beleive that ASDs are not "illness" that have to be "cured" in some waybut rather a step in human evolution. Maybe all of us will be "autistic" in some way.

Teal Swan: Autism (Understanding Autism, Autistic Children and Autistic Adults) - Teal Swan

Arthur Arcturus: Is Asperger's Human 2.0

Tony Atwood: is Asperger Syndrome the next stage of human evolution?

Dear 16 Year Old Me.

Dear 16 Year Old Me.

Dear 16 year old me.

I learnt recently that you are currently revising for your GCSEs and that you will soon be leaving St Mary's high school. and start studying Information Technology at Croydon College in September. I know that there will be challenging times ahead of you so here is some advice for coping with the adult world.

1). Never listen to negative people.

There will always be people out there who will look down at you in some way. They will do anything to bring you down. They will always doubt you . If you have persistant belief in your dreams than you can achieve anything.

2). Never listen to anyone who tries to change you.

You are wonderful just the way you are. There will be people out there that will never appreciate your inner value. Stay the way you are and you will be fine.

3). Remember that you are a person with multiple talents.

You can be whoever you want if you really dedicate your heart and mind to fulfilling your potential.you have the ability to do many things in life.

4). Cherish yourself.

Remember that you are a person worthy of love. No matter how negative other people are of you no matter how lonely of isolated you feel, remember that you are ALWAYS worthy of love.

5). Cherish all the positive people in your life.

A person who makes you fell good about yourself and gives you good advice is a precious gift that you should never take for granted. you always deserve to have good, loving , caring and encouraging people around you. However, such people are rare and you should invest as much time with these people as possible.

Wishing you all the best in your life.

Yours Truly

Richard Davis Aged 16.....x2 = 32. (Still a maths wizz! Kind of!)

Loving Language: Part 3: Healing Words.

LOVING LANGUAGE 

PART 3: HEALING WORDS

Medicine from the mouth

Language has the power to both heal and hurt. in the last blog, I talked about how language can hurt, now I will talk about themselves and even heal mental and emotional wounds. Loving language is literally like medicine. Once taken, can ease the pain that may have been present in a person and can make someone feel better instantly. Unlike medicines for the physical body when we have to pay for them or get a prescription from our G.P. the medicine of loving language and healing words is absolutely free!  It costs nothing to send it and it costs nothing to receive it.

The poisoned tongue

A lot of us fall into the trap of speaking dismissively towards ourselves and others. In this way we are slowly poisoning ourselves and other people in a spiritual sense. A lot of the language used in modern day society is toxic. We have come accustomed to name calling, swearing, insults, put-downs and other forms of harsh language. In fact, I recently learnt from a book that 75%  of out verbal programming to ourselves and others is negative in some way.

Small sentence, big difference

Loving Language can can come in may forms like compliments, praise, encouragement and consolation. They are usually small words and sentences that can uplift a spirit of a person. The impact of a healing word or sentence to a person is often underestimated. A healing word can literally transform someone in a beautiful way.

The other night, before a meditation, I decided to read one of my spiritual books which was an ancient text. There is on verse which I remembered which had a profound definition of the value of language. It read: "Better than a thousand meaningless words collected together is a single meaningful word on hearing which one becomes tranquil".

I find this quote to be very profound. It basically means that no matter how long the message is, if it has no meaning to it then it wont have any effect on a person. However, Loving language often comes in very small phrases like "I love you" "You are beautiful", "Thank you" "How are you?" "You can do it!" "You are great". Notice how these phrases are only a few words long and yet their uplifting power is immense.

Perhaps for the sake of this blog, we could change the above verse slightly to "Better than a thousand phrases of hurt collected together is a small healing phrase on hearing which one becomes loved".

"You are beautiful"

There has been some social experiments on YouTube where woman were told that they were beautiful. I think it is safe to say that they were uplifted by just one word. "Beautiful".

Kind words are so simple and so priceless and get a lot of us struggle to give and receive a kind or phrase to oneself or others.

We should all make it our goal in life to speak as kindly and as positively to ourselves and others as possible so that we can heal hearts and minds one word at a time.