The importance of family support.

 The importance of family support.

The last 2 years of my life have been quite drama and at times traumatic. This has been mainly because of the false anticipation of of having a romantic partner in my life which in the end, didn't look close to happening. 

One of the most ongoing feelings in my life is loneliness. This is because I have had a lot of negativity from other people. I think that I am often a misunderstood person because I have certain interests that are not particularly popular and do things that not everybody understands. 

Throughout my life, I have struggled to gain and maintain relationships both personal and professional. At the age of 35, I don't think it is even worth it anymore to look for 'the one' as I have struggled so  much to gain and maintain relationships. Instead, I ask for all of my family to be as supportive as they possibly can towards me. That means that whatever dream that I have in life that they support it without question.

Here is what I want from my family:

Empathy and forgiveness

I want my family to be supportive and understanding when the worst comes to the worst. They have to understand that I will make mistakes along the way and will misunderstand certain things.

Counselling

I want my family to feel like a safe group to talk about the deep and difficult personal issues in my life so that they don't linger in my head.

Backing

I want my family to support and respect whatever life direction that I intend to make. They have to understand that it is MY  life.

Appreciation

I want my family to understand that I make a lot of efforts for them because I want them to be proud of me. I may not be the son or brother that they dreamed of but I always do my best for the sake of may family.

I hope my family can understand all of this.

My road to chess glory Part 6: Overcoming Hurdles.

The summer of 2013 would prove to be a time of emotional uncertainty as I really didn't now what to do with my life without the game of chess. In the end, I decided to go on a ten week adult education course learning i byntermediate French which I received a certificate for at the beginning of 2014.


Although I at the time announced that I would no longer be a member of South Norwood Chess Club, I realised that the was one big problem with that decision; the fact that I would not be able to get my hands on the Ellary Williams Memorial and Stoneleigh trophies. Therefore, in order for me to receive the two trophies that worked so hard to earn in the first place, I would have to reverse my decision and return to the club. I eventually received the Stoneleigh trophy on Wednesday 30th October 2013 before the start of an away match at Wallington and the Ellary Williams Memorial trophy the following day on Thursday 31st October 2013 at South Norwood Chess Club. 

I started 2014 with one of the biggest scalps of my career, beating Koby Kalavannan in a major scalp in the first knockout phase of the CCF World Cup. At the time, his ECF grade was 159 while mine was only 121. At the time of writing, (February 2021) his grade has now increased to 226. I started with a very quiet opening in order for me to recover from the heavy rain that I had to travel in that night. He responded dynamically but left some holes in his defence and made a bad exchange that really allowed my position to gain power towards his own king. In the end, he simply suffered due to the growing positional pressure of my well placed pieces. Although the game lasted long into the night, I was confident after a while that I was going to win this as my positional pressure started to materialize. I can't even put it into words how joyful I was when the game finally ended. It really showed me the value of learning positional understanding in chess and how it can beat even significantly stronger opponent.

 During that summer, I would participate in the Felce Cup for  the first time since my disastrous debut campaign in 2010. I would have to travel to the Trinity Road Club in Wimbledon as there were not enough participants from south Norwood Club to form a South Norwood Section. I was always fond of the venue as it was an elegant little room that was upstairs from a pub that had a pool table, a dartboard and a TV screen.  My campaign got off to a slow start with 2 draws with black but with my first game with white became the moment that I had waited 4 years for. My first ever win in the Felce Cup after I had out-played my opponent in a rook and bishop endgame. I was soo happy and releived to finally end the curse of never winning a Felce cup game before. It meant that I was able to simply enjoy the rest of the tournament. However, this was as good as my tournament got as I could only mange one draw with my last 3 games, losing the last game tragically haven't earned a winning position. This ment that I had finished the tournament with an equal record of 1 win, 1 loss and 4 draws. Still, I was nice to end the wait for a Felce Cup which also meant that I can go into the new season in good spirits.

My review of 2020

My review of 2020

Before COVID

For the first 2 months of this year, I was traveling around London to help the Brazilian community of London with their English as well as working vigorously on my Portuguese. At that time, I was still playing out my final season Over-the-Board tournament chess and even leading my 2 usual rapid-play teams. However, in March, we all of this suddenly had to stop because there was a little something out there called... the pandemic. Yes this was the time the initial Coronavirus outbreak was affecting lives in the UK and therefore when almost everything we were doing had to stop. Phrases like "Stay at home" "Wash your hands" and "Wear a mask" was repeated continuously across the country as well as most of the world in what was a very uncertain time for humanity. Thankfully, for someone like me, the concept of staying at home was not a major problem for me as I am normally content with my own company. I had to finish the rest of my individual league standard-play games online via lichess.org.

My Birthday

This meant that on my 34th birthday on 12 April I had to do things for myself for my own birthday celebration. I decided to order a pizza with garlic bread, cookies and a tub of Ben & Jerry's birthday cake flavoured ice cream. When I ordered the food online, I was amazed that they can be such a thing as birthday cake ice cream but I really enjoyed it as well as all the other food that I bought.

Finding a teacher

During the year, I was looking for someone to be my professional Brazilian Portuguese teacher. During the month of May, I found an advertisement in the Anglo-Brazilian magazine 'Leros' of somebody offering lessons. After a small exchange of emails, we finally agreed to have a two hour class on Friday 5th June 2020.... or so I thought. However, after waiting for over an hour for a call to start on my Skype account, I decided to phone her to see if she remembered the agreed appointment time. I told her (in Portugese!) that I was waiting for her for over an hour. The response that I received was quite unexpected to say the least. She told me that I was meant to confirm the time of the class with her by email. She said that she had a screenshot of the email in which she asked for a confirmation. I never saw such an email and in fact, the last email that I received from her said "Yes, I confirm that I have your Skype contact details, no worries. No need to reply this email, I hope our next contact will be to confirm the payment and lesson time, ok." I thought that this meant that the lesson had already been arranged. I guess I was wrong. The phone call ended with he saying something like: "OK Richard. There has obviously been some misunderstanding so obviously I am not the right teacher for you so if you like Richard you can try someone or something else. You have many options. You have your blog, you have a lot going for you Richard so I'm sure that with the right teacher, you'll will you far. I love my language. Portuguese is a beautiful language and I wish you good luck. OK? Thank you. Goodbye.".

I was left completely dumbfounded by the whole experience. I couldn't believe that she would just give up on me after our first attempt to arrange a class. I would have thought that she would at least arrange it for the same time the following week. I would have thought that would have been the most sensible thing to do in such a situation. So I continue with my Memrise app and the tense book with exercises for me to do and just move on in the hope that one day I would have an official Portuguese teacher to work with me.(1) What a shame.

Final Season Finale

As a substitute for what would have been the remainder of my final chess season, Coulsdon Chess Fellowship decided to start a series of online speed chess tournaments on lichess.org. It took me a while to win one of these tournaments but I eventually did on the evening of the 2nd of July 2020. At the time of writing, I have now won 5 of those tournaments.

On the 5th of August 2020, I would officially announce my retirement from over-the-board tournament chess after 15 years. This was so that I can focus more on my new career as an English as a foreign language (EFL) teacher as well as other personal and professional pursuits. 

Online work and loneliness.

I spent most of he rest of the year studying Portuguese, playing chess and giving English and language exchange sessions to my clients online. However, towards the end of the year, I was seriously doubting my chances of ever having an intimate relationship. It was thought by many people that learning Brazilian-Portuguese will eventually see me with a Brazilian girlfriend. However, because of the ongoing pandemic, I was not able to see any of my clients physically. Perhaps inevitably, this lead to a small period of loneliness as it made me feel as if I was going to spend the rest of my life alone without ever having an intimate partner. This provoked me into making a post on Facebook on the 9th of December about the reasons why I believed that I would never find a girlfriend. This post said:

I have now come to the conclusion that the real reason why I don't (and maybe never) have a girlfriend are for the following reasons.

1). I am not simply not a normal human being (2).

2). I'm a deep thinking intellect which put most women off.

3). I hate loud places.

4). I never really know what to say to anyone.

5). I can find working with other people emotionally draining.

 When my mother learnt about this post, for some strange reason, my mother got really upset by this and even told me to take the post down, however, I am still struggling to understand how this would upset her, especially as I would have thought that she would know all of this from my childhood. All of this lead to a rather unfortunate row via voice and text messages. In the end I had to block her. 

It's pretty sad that my mother wants to censor my genuine thoughts and opinions about life in order to protect her own pride. I didn't say anything about her and all I ever did in the post was be honest about why I felt that I couldn't find love. On a positive note however, I did get some sympathy from some of my Facebook friends. 

Goals for 2021

Finally I do have some big resolutions for 2021.

1). To become and official online English teacher.

2). Learn Spanish, French, Italian, Dutch and Japanese as well as continue to study Portuguese.

3). To become an accountant.

4). Return to a meditation routine.

5). Learn to love my autism and not feel bad about it.

Let's hope it's a better year for all of us.

The End

Completed on Tuesday 9th February 2021

(1).Some good news: At the time of writing, I have now had 3 lessons via Skype with a wonderful teacher whose details I found on a digital copy of the January 2021 edition of 'Leros'.

(2) Of course I am aware that 'normal' is pretty subjective but I know for a fact that I have never fitted the concept of 'normal' in the perspective of society. to learn more about how I feel about loneliness, check out my blog series 'The myth of normal'.

 Mistakes my Brazilian friends make when speaking in English.  (Versão Inglês)

Hello

There are many challenges when learning a new language. in the last year, I have learnt Brazilian Portuguese with great interest. When I listen to my Brazilian friends speak English, sometimes I hear many mistakes in pronunciation and grammar.

1). “Hello Hee-chard”

When I was working for a charity shop. My bosses who we both Brazilians made some small errors when saying my name. My boss always said "Hello Hee-chard" and my other boss said "Ree-chard".

Actually, 'Richard' is a little difficult for people who don't have English as their first language. The first problem is the 'R 'sound in English. to say the letter R in English, you need to have a little pull of the tongue and a little vibration in your throat.

The second problem is the 'A' in 'Richard' this letter is not pronounced in the normal way but actually with a special sound in English called the 'schwa'. It is not an easy thing to teach but simply, you will almost always hear in the end of words ending in 'er' but there are many other words that have a schwa. The schwa is the most common sound in the English language so its very important to remember this sound.

2). “Make a coffee for you”.

This sentence is a little strange for native speakers. Normally, we say "Make yourself a coffee" Literally: Se faz om cafe". English has many reflexive verbs that is represented by the words "Myself", (me mesmo) "Yourself" (voce mesmo) Himself (ele mesma) "Herself" (ela mesmo) and Oneself" (si mesmo). For example. "I love myself" (Eu me amo.) "Lose yourself" (Perder-se) e "He hurt himself" (Ile se doer)

If you are making a cup of coffee for another person, you can say: "I will make a cup of coffee for you". (Eu vou fazer um xicara de cafe por voce.)

3). I speaky you.

Brazilians always make a vowel sound of "e/y" at the end of English words with a consonant. Consonants need to be learnt individually. For example: The word "catch" sounds like "catchy" and "beach" can sound like "b*tchy". (a really impolite word) therefore, pronunciation of consonants is really need to be learnt correctly.

 

Erros que meus amigos cometem quando falam em Inglês.

Introdução.

• Olá!

• Existem muitos desafios quando aprendemos uma língua nova. No ano passado, eu estive aprendendo português brasileiro com bastante interessante. Quando eu escuto meus amigos brasileiros falando inglês, às vezes escuto muitos erros de pronúncia e gramática.

1). “Hello Hee-chard”

Quando (eu) trabalhava numa loja de caridade, meus chefes, que eram brasileiros, falavam meu nome errado. Um (chefe) sempre dizia “Hello Hee-chard” (Hiːʃtӕd),

 e a outra (chefe falava “Ree-chard” Na verdade, ‘Richard’ é um pouco difícil para as pessoas que não têm o inglês como língua materna. O primeiro problema é o som do ‘R’ em inglês Para dizer uma letra ‘R’ em inglês, você precisa puxar um pouco a língua e ter um pouco de vibração em sua garganta 

O segundo problema é o ‘A’ em ‘Richard’. Essa letra não é pronunciada da forma normal, mas sim com um som especial chamado ‘schwa’ (Ə) Isso não é uma coisa fácil ensinar, mas você vai quase sempre ouví-lo em as palavras terminando em ‘er’, e há muitas outras palavras com um schwa. Esta não termina em ‘er’, por exemplo: a primeira vogal de ‘potato’ tem o som de "schwa" O schwa é a vogal mais comum no inglês, então é muito importante lembrar dessa vogal.

2). “Make a coffee for you”.

Literalmente: “Se faz um café”

Essa frase é um pouco estranha para falantes nativos. Normalmente, nós dizemos “Make yourself a coffee”; 

Inglês tem muitos verbos reflexivos representados pelas palavras “Myself”, (eu mesmo) “Yourself”, (você mesmo) Himself (ele mesmo) “Herself” (ela mesma) e “Oneself” (si mesmo).Por exemplo: “I love myself” (Eu me amo.) “Lose yourself” (Perder-se) e “He hurt himself” (Ele machucou-se)

Se você quer fazer uma xícara de café para uma outra pessoa, você pode dizer: “I will make a cup of coffee for you” (Eu vou fazer um xícara de café para você.

3). “I speaky you”

 Os brasileiros sempre fazem um vogal de “e/y” quando falando em um término de palavras em inglês com uma letra consoante. Os consoantes precisam ficar aprendiam sozinho. Por exemplo, a palavra “catch” soa como “catchy” e “beach” soa como “beachy” ou mesmo, “b*tchy” (a palavra realmente deseducada) então, os prenúncios de consonantes realmente precisam ficar aprendiam corretamente.

• 
  
  

My retirement from Chess.

My retirement from Chess.

It is with deep regret that as of today, I officially announce my retirement form over-the-board Chess after 15 eventful years. I believe that Chess can empower people in so many ways. For me, it gave me the opportunity to prove to the world that I can achieve things independently. It has also given me the opportunity to make new friends and meet inspiring people. The game of Chess has really made me the person that I am today.

My achievements within the game includes winning the Wernick Cup, 2 Ellary Williams Memorial Trophies, The Stoneleigh Trophy, The CCF Division 1 title and a CCF Super league title.

I would like to thank everybody within the Surrey Chess fraternity who have contributed in some way to my journey in Chess. I especially want to thank everybody at South Norwood Chess Club for their immense support towards me and my chess goals , Coulsdon Chess Fellowship (CCF) for their great hospitality and organisation of tournaments and all the other venues with in the Surrey County Chess Association who have warmly welcomed me before team matches.

 

AS things stand, my goal in life is to one day become an English as a Foreign Language (EFL) teacher as I am currently helping certain people with the English language while I am also learning foreign languages.

 

Despite this decision, my passion for chess will never completely die. I will continue to play online and continue to run my Facebook group.

 

Finally, I wish everybody the best of luck with your continuing journeys through the great game of Chess.

 

Miss you all.

 

Richard Davis.

My Review of 2011

My Review of 2011

By Richard Davis

I came into the year feeling under the weather on most days as I was still yet to work out what was going on in my body. Hence I spent the first 3 months of the year still suffering from this “Mystery Illness” which I had since the beginning of 2010. Rarely in that time would I go through a day without a headache, a flu symptom or a period of fatigue. It was as if my body was aging at a rate of knots. There were times when I struggled to walk and there were days when I struggled to speak. It was as if I suddenly became an elderly man. Back in August 2010 my mother suggested that I have a brain scan which I was eventually able to do. I got the results of the scan on Wednesday 30^th of March 2011. The good news: I had a healthy brain. (Must be all that chess-playing that I do) The bad news: I had a sinus problem which was originally diagnosed with Sinus Disease or Sinusitis. At last! My illness was no longer a mystery. However this wasn’t the end off the story. The doctor that I saw that day suggested that I see an Ear, Nose and Throat (ENT) specialist. On the day of my birthday (12^th April) I had an appointment with a GP from my local surgery where I would give the news about the results.

There was some small bit of joy though. On the night of the 2^nd of  February my friend Sophie asked me if we can be boyfriend and girlfriend in what was my first ever text conversation. Although we didn’t make it romantically she was still my first ever valentine.

In May I would announce by e-mail that I would take a break from competitive chess as I was still struggling with regular headaches, colds and fatigue. This meant that I would miss the annual Surrey Individual Championships for the first time in my club chess career. I also mentioned in the same e-mail to the relevant people that I would spend the summer doing social activities and catching up with friends and family. The 10^th of the month was a particularly memorable day. I invited a very special female friend to lunch at a Chinese restaurant near where I live. This friend used to help run a social group for people with Asperger Syndrome. We spent about an hour enjoying our meal and catching up with our lives. It was great to see her again. After the meal I showed her to my flat. She was the first person I invited to my new home since I moved there on the 11th October 2011. She thought it was nice. I then showed her back to the train station talking about the surrounding birds and flowers in the process. When we reached the station we had another friendly chat before her train arrived. As we departed company I had the urge to cuddle her goodbye and I did and it was returned by a lovely kiss before leaving for her train. It was the first time that I was ever kissed by a female friend and it would prove to be an omen later in the summer.

I would eventually turn up for my ENT appointment on Tuesday 7^th June 2011 and be re-diagnosed with allergic rhinitis, better known as hay fever. Later that same day I would start a meditation course based on exploring positive emotion called “Loving life” which would take place every Tuesday evening for 6 weeks in the Croydon Buddhist Centre. The course was based on a meditation called the Metta Bhavna or the Development of Loving Kindness. During the time of the course I bought myself two books from the Buddhist Centre shop. One was called Life with full attention and the other one was a book I was advised to buy called Full Catastrophe Living as it was about relieving stress, pain and illness through meditation amongst other psychological and spiritual methods. The book is based on a stress reduction clinic in the University of Massachusetts Medical Centre.

On the 7^th of July I decided that the best way to understand relationships which involves an AS person is to buy some Asperger Relationship books. One book which I remember borrowing from a library is Asperger Syndrome and long term relationships a book that theoretically explores how Asperger Syndrome affects intimate relationships. The book is written by a woman with an AS husband. So I decided to buy that book of the internet along with Asperger Syndrome: A love story a personal story about an intimate partnership between a neurotypical woman and man with AS and 22 Things a Woman Must Know If She Loves a Man with Asperger Syndrome. A book written by and Asperger woman from New York that advises neurotypical women on how to cope with issues associated with an AS male partner. Around the same time, I decided to buy the film Mozart and the Whale on DVD. This film is about a Double AS relationship between a man that is a mathematical savant and a woman with a love of painting and music. I finally got the film on the Saturday 23^rd of July and the books on Monday the 25^th.

The books and DVD film came at the most appropriate time as I would soon go to a speed dating on Wednesday the 27^th event in a Nightclub in Central London. The event was organised by Stars in the sky. It was however a difficult journey, due to fact that I didn’t have the train knowledge to get there and therefore had to take 3 buses to get within walking distance of the venue. It did not help either that I was getting poor signals of my mobile phone from the phone calls I was making to the event organiser. In fact at one point I was going the wrong direction and was very concerned at one point that I would not get to the venue on time nor would have the energy to come back home if I arrived late. Thankfully I did make the venue in time for the speed dating. I was absolutely exhausted when I arrived but I recovered in time to take part. After the speed dating session a brown haired woman in a strapless top came up to me and asked if we could continue our conversation. After the conversation where we exchanged each other’s interests a moment of magic happened! She came to my side of the wooden benched table, wrapped her arm around me and gave me a kiss! Wow! My first kiss! (About time too at the age of 25) She then told me that I haven’t been in a relationship in a long time. It was getting chilly outside so she asked for my raincoat to cover her bare shoulders. After a while, the woman running the event asked if we can have our picture taken so that we can be on the Stars in the sky website. We both agreed and the photo was taken. Before leaving we exchanged each others names and numbers. Her name was Louisa. On my way back home I decided that I would take a train route back home as I thought it would be easier and quicker especially as it was already approaching midnight. I took a tube train from Whitechapel to Liverpool Street Station. When I reached Liverpool Street Station however, I found my self lost trying to find a train that would finally take me to Norbury. When I finally got the train back to Norbury Station I received long phone calls from Louisa telling me how much she would miss me. The phone call carried on when I arrived home and did not finish until about 1.30 in the morning. I was absolutely exhausted. Throughout that week we phoned each other on a regular basis. (On one occasion it temporarily saw me out of the waiting reception in my local surgery.)  However, with her living in Wood Green transport was always going to be an issue. This caused Louisa a lot of anxiety. I did my best to relieve her over the train journeys but sadly this wasn’t enough. On the evening of the 5^th of August while enjoying an evening at my social group I called Louisa on my plans to get to Wood Green but she had given up on the relationship. She initially said that we should just be friends. All this just 9 days after we met in Central London. It got worse the previous day when I phone her. She said “Richard, I don’t want to talk to you”    in our brief phone call. When I went to my South Croydon social group on Monday the 8^th of August I asked some people how such a promising relationship can go down so quickly. A volunteer who was present that night cleverly stated that perhaps speed dating leads to speedy relationships which end quickly. During the session we heard on the radio about the riots in Croydon and we therefore had to find alternate ways to get back home. A volunteer suggested that I take a train from South Croydon Station. I finally found the station through a church graveyard. When I reached the station however there was a young anxious steward who was uncertain of which lines were running and which stations were available. There was a woman who spoke to the steward asking about how she could get to West Croydon. The steward replied “West Croydon Station’s burnt down, gone. You can’t go anywhere in West Croydon tonight. It’s an absolute war zone.” Later on that fateful evening I received phone calls from my mother about my whereabouts. Eventually I was allowed inside the station and I got a train heading to London Bridge. While I was on the train I was scared about my safety and decided to phone Louisa one last time but before I could finish a sentence she shouted “RICHARD I DON’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU. I DON’T KNOW WHY I BOTHERED WITH THIS SPEED DATING THING. I’VE HAD PEOPLE LET ME DOWN AND I DON’T WANT ANYMORE OF IT. I DON’T DO DISTANCES. PLEASE STOP CALLING ME AND STOP GIVING ME MESSAGES.” That was full blown proof that our relationship was over seemingly through no fault of our own. It felt sad and very abrupt but it was still my first ever intimate relationship. A landmark in my life. I got of the train at London Bridge and looked for a steward to ask if Norbury Station was still in function. Thankfully it was and I was guided to the platform that had a train that stopped at Norbury. Once I got of the station I was hoping that there would be no active trouble and thankfully there wasn’t any, although I did see a yellow car that smash into a mobile phone shop. I was just glad to have got home safely on a night of violence in Croydon. The next morning I called friends and family to see if they all of them were okay. Thankfully they were.

On Thursday the 8^th of September I attended the AGM of my chess club feeling rather tired and drowsy. During the meeting I had to speak about how my team has performed in the last 2 years (as I missed the previous AGM through illness) as one of the team captains. However the next day when I was at my parent’s house for a visit one of the vice-presidents of the club suggested on the phone that he takes over my team captaincy only because he thought that I was depressed! I had to tell him that I was not depressed I was tired. I couldn’t understand why he wanted to take over my position, especially since the club already elected me to carry on the position and besides, it’s only a small rapid-play team and he has plenty of jobs to do anyway. But I am glad to still have my position as the rapid-play team captain of South Norwood Chess Club. Especially now that the competition now has a new handicap format which affects the way a match result is perceived. From an individual perspective I am happy to say that at the tail end of the calendar year my chess performances have improved. Before the end of 2011 my 2011/12 standard-play record was 3 wins, 3 draws and just the 1 loss.

On Saturday the 1^st of October I played in the one-day rapid-play tournament at Coulsdon. I didn’t do to well in that tournament only managing to win two and a half points, winning just the one game out of the seven. I decided that I needed to sharpen up my tactical play so I decided to buy a book on chess tactics. However I realized that I did not have enough money in my bank account to buy the book so I decided to wait until the evening of Tuesday the 5^th to return to Coulsdon to purchase the book. I realized that they also played the card game of Bridge over there so I asked if I could browse to see how the game worked.  I was given the permission and after buying the book A Course in Chess Tactics. I was shown where to sit to observe. It was interesting to witness arguments between partners about how the hands and deals should be played. I also witness the usage of what are called bidding boxes which display what both pairs of partners are trying to achieve with their hands. I have since been to a couple of beginners’ sessions to learn how to play bridge as you would read about later.

During November I wondered what it would be like to be a woman with Asperger’s. Asperger Syndrome is a generally male condition as approximately only 1 in 10 people diagnosed are female. Hence I browsed the internet for a book on a female perspective of Asperger’s. I then found the book Asperger’s – If only you knew. A story about a woman named Sophia Summers only realises she has the condition years after the diagnosis of her son Josh.

On the 6^th and 8^th of December I went to the beginners Bridge classes in South Croydon suggested by my Chess club chairman. During the two sessions we learned what was called “mini-bridge”, a simplified version of the game without the bidding. The aim was to teach players new to bridge how to asses a hand and how to win tricks. I got to know some interesting people during those two days including a German woman who seemingly assumed that a cat that was present at the time was female, but I then learnt that it was because of the grammar of the German language which always refers to an unknown cat as female. I then heard that the cat’s name was Hector. So the cat was clearly a male. On the 16^th of the month I would go to the last NAS meeting of the year. NAS meetings are informal meetings run by the National Autistic Society that are usually held every last Thursday of each month at The George pub. However during December they accelerate the time of the meeting in time for Christmas, hence we had it on the 16^th. We reviewed how the year went for all of us and talk about plans for the New Year. For most of the evening we had a senior couple sit beside us. The man spoke to another member of the group about how much he hated Christmas and thought it was just a money making scheme. The woman eventually got involved and asked Maria, the woman running the group what the group was about. Afterwards the woman suddenly said to me “Can I just say what a handsome looking young man you are. You’re lovely”. Maria responded “There you go Richard; you’re a ladies’ man. (She’s Right I have been a ladies’ man this year. Don’t ask me how I’ve pulled it off but I have had my fair share of female attention in 2011) She said this on more than one occasion. After Maria left the pub the woman asked me to sit beside her. The man wanted to know how two people with autism can communicate together, and I generally said that you just ask a question to the person. He then asked so how does he (the other present group member) will respond. I told him that there are different levels of autism. During this conversation the woman was affectionately stroking my back still saying things like “You’re lovely”. The man happened to be a Jazz promoter and showed us his business card at the end of the evening and as we got off our chairs to go home the woman gave me a kiss on both cheeks. I realized that there was enough time to go to my chess club to talk about the evening. I spoke to the chairman of the club about the story between me and the old lady and he said in amusement “Those are the woman you should be avoiding”. Afterwards I would play a couple of games and go home.